Sunday, September 8, 2013

And Here We Go Again....

Now that summer is over and school has begun, the anxiety is back. We saw it surface from time to time over the summer of course, but it's back in full force. 
I was really hoping (of course) that this year would be different. I, myself, was feeling very anxious in the last few weeks of August, dreading those first few days of school. But after L said he was actually looking forward to school starting again, after stating to me that he felt this year was going to be a good year, I was hopeful. And I started to even believe it just might be. 
But for two nights now (one Friday, one tonight, Sunday) L has complained of his stomach hurting, that he feels sick and he's going to throw up. On Friday I ended up giving him Gravol, but tonight, I know it's the anxiety for sure. I don't want to keep giving him medication. 
Somehow, I just knew tonight would end up this way. I saw small signs, I guess, throughout the day. But it started about an hour past bedtime, when he came downstairs saying he felt unwell. And crying, of course. I sent him back to bed, telling him he was fine, he wasn't sick and to go to sleep. 
Of course that didn't help. 
I went into his room, and he cried a lot, while we hugged, and then I tried reading to him for a bit. This calmed the crying, but of course I can't read all night, so as soon as I stopped his stomach ache came back. He went into the bathroom for awhile, and when he came out he was still sobbing away. It just breaks my heart. Then he said that every time he went into his room it made his stomach hurt. So for the sake of at least some sleep tonight, I told him he could camp out on our bedroom floor. 
I am thinking that was probably the wrong choice to make, but I couldn't stand the crying anymore. And if he feels better being nearer to us, then so be it. At least he's not in our bed with us. 
I just don't get it though. I don't know what spurred on this latest "attack", I'll call it, for lack of a better word. His first week of school was great. He has a nice teacher, who he seems to like, he has friends in his class, he had only one bit of homework all week, and that was this weekend which was a title page, pretty simple. He finished it with a fairly small amount of complaint for him. It wasn't anything trying or stressful, and he finished in a very timely way. He had a nice day today, visiting with his Auntie Kelly at her house with us and DH's mom and Nan. 
So what triggered this? I wish I knew. He sure doesn't seem to. 
Tomorrow we have another meeting with the MSW from the local children's mental health place. We have met with her about three times now. L doesn't like it, because she wants to discuss things he doesn't want to talk about, and it makes him cry, which he hates. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, as I think it will make tomorrow night hard as well. But we are trying this route, hoping it will help. 

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