Feb 21

Today I had every intention of sending L to school for the morning and having his dad pick him up before his appt with the lady at home and then his paed. appt.
However, just before six this morning, he was in the bathroom with an upset tummy. I don't know if this is a bit of a bug, leftover tummy upset from his antibiotics, or stress. It could be a combo of all for all I know.
So, feeling sorry for him, I let him stay home. And while he didn't have to run to the toilet again, he did seem in discomfort during the day, didn't want to eat much, and I could actually hear his tummy gurgling away sometimes.
We had our appt with the lady from the children's mental health place at 1:00, but she didn't ask much and only stayed a half hour. I'm starting to wonder what she is even coming for. She asked if he'd tried any of her previous suggestions, which he hadn't much, and gave us a few more such as: to try picking an incentive to work towards for good behaviour at bedtime, try using music or some sound on his iPod to listen to when he can't fall asleep, and write down his worries at night to help them "be off his mind".
Here's why I don't think any of this will work; she seems to be treating this as some sort of choice for him. Like, I'm all for an incentive program, but his bedtime issues aren't really all behaviour. I don't think he can help what's happening. If I could reward him for not being sad or anxious at bedtime, that would be great, but to me, that just seems like I'm asking him to pretend everything is ok for my sake and for the sake of getting the prize at the end.
However, since I'm not a professional, and I'm desperate to try many things, I'll give it a whirl.
The iPod trick could work, as it works for many adults I know, so we'll see about that.
The writing down part likely won't happen because first of all, he HATES writing, and second of all, I'm not sure he'll be so inclined to turn the light on and put pen to paper at 9:30 at night. I just don't see it happening.
After that, he went to his paed appt with his dad and from what DH told me what the dr said is that: A) psychiatrists are covered under OHIP, which I didn't know. There are three child ones where we live, and he said two he wouldn't send us to, and the other is likely booked for a year or more (Oy, vey)
B) we can put him on medication if we wish, either Prozac or Zoloft I believe. It's up to us, and we can wait until we see a psychiatrist, psychologist, or whatever or do it now. He said (and I agree) that its like his mind is stuck in a rut, and he won't get better if we just ignore it. The rut will become deeper, and could lead to him actually harming himself. Medication could give his rut time to heal....we need to think on it and do some research obviously.
C) the HSC in Toronto has some sort of Internet based psychiatry, but from what I understood from DH, we have to do it at our hospital. DH asked to be referred to that, but again, another wait there, hopefully not too long.
I think that was about it. Oh, and his ears are clear again, although one eardrum has a small hole that is healing and there could be some scarring there.
I've come to realize over the last few weeks that when L isn't feeling well, his mental symptoms are magnified. So I'm really not looking forward to tonight. Right now he's upstairs playing Lego with DH and R. It's kind of a nice break for me right now, as I had a trying day today all around. I can hear him giggling and laughing, which is nice to hear, but as soon as he gets into that bed I just know there will be tears and more self-depreciating talk and likely some screaming when I leave. I never used to dread bedtimes, but I do now. I used to count the hours and minutes until adult evening time, but now I'm willing the clock to slow down.
At least tomorrow is Friday.