Wednesday, August 1, 2012


Sorry it's been so long....again. I'm lying here awake for some unknown reason. I was asleep, only barely, but now it's 12:40 and I'm awake. I hate that. Hope I'm not getting sick, which is usually a reason for wakefulness for me.
Anyhow, I was reading my last posting since today the issue of report cards came up. DH and I were discussing the boys' reports because my MIL had called and wanted to know their marks. Immediately my spidey senses went up. (I was listening to his side of the conversation). I have had an issue with MIL in previous years, rewarding my children for their A's and accomplishments.She snuck it in without me knowing she was doing it.  And I don't like that. Not at all. 
Firstly, that's OUR job, not hers. I get that she wants to spoil her grand kids, so spoil them already, but don't make it about marks!
Secondly, I really have a problem with rewarding my children for marks. I think the marks should be rewards within themselves. They should feel a sense of pride when they see that A, or B, or whatever they're striving for. I want them to want it for themselves, not because they're being paid off.
Thirdly, it's unfair. R gets far better marks than L. Without even trying. Teachers love R, and let's face it, liking your kid can sometimes make a B a B+, or similar. L, I'm not sure. I don't think he's one of those kids teachers dread having, but he's just another kid. It's just his personality. He can't help it. So according to DH, MIL was going to give them $50 for passing (isn't that enough?!) and then $20 for each A.
Why wasn't I a party to this agreement? I went and looked at the reports, added it up, and that would leave R with $430! And his brother with $70. How would that be fair? L can't really achieve A's, although he did get one in Drama I think. After DH talked to MIL, she amended that to B's. Still, L got quite a few C's on his report, many of which I'm convinced should have been B's anyway. How is it fair that L got a crappy teacher, and who possibly gave him C's out of her dislike for him and his parents?
So I told DH to explain it to her. And to also say that L doesn't exactly go in for bribes that way. He hates school. No amount of paying him off is going to make him work harder either. Besides, the reward is far too long term for him. Plus, if he saw his brother get all that money, that would just make him quit. He definitely wouldn't try at that point.
So he did explain some of that, but ever-protective of his family's feelings that he is, he allowed her to still give them something, and some money towards their chosen activity/sport. At least that's what DH explained to me, but it all seemed somewhat confusing to me. He kept backtracking, so I'm wondering how much he's trying to put past me in the end. I don't think he is fully in agreement with me. He said his mother understood, but was hurt and disappointed.
Hurt? Why would she be hurt? Does she think we're saying this to her because we are out to get her? I don't get it. Then DH got all defensive of his mom, of course, and I held my tongue so as not to start an argument.
Same old story. He sides with his family and I can't even reason with him. Sigh.
Anyway, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on this situation. And now, time to try to sleep again.