Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Report Card Time

The boys both got their report cards today. I kind of hate report card time, at any time of the year. I have one who excels in school, without really even trying, and the other who just gets by. I'm sure from previous posts you can guess which is which. It's not that I'm not proud of my kids, but...... I'm way more proud of one than the other.

There, I said it. I feel terrible for even thinking that. It doesn't mean I love one more than the other, because I don't, but looking at a report card filled with A's and then looking at another report card filled with C's is like thinking you've just won the lottery, and then finding out you're holding last week's ticket.

I really struggle with this. I want to praise R, tell him how amazing he is and how happy I am with him, but I don't want to hurt L. I know L can't achieve A's right now. But I'm fairly sure he could achieve some more B's if he put a bit more effort into it. But he really hates school. I fight with him on school issues all year long. To chastise him over a not-so-stellar report card at this time of year, well, I kind of feel like its beating a dead horse. And I definitely feel that if I sing the praises of his brother too loudly, that he'll become more defiant, more rejecting of school. He's not the type to take that as a challenge to do better. It would have the opposite effect on him.

But back to R. It's not fair that he's put in the effort, the hard work and isn't receiving his just rewards either. I did tell him at bedtime that I was so proud of him, that I was very pleased with his report card but I didn't want to make his brother feel bad. Maybe that's not even fair to him either. Why should we be hush hush about how great he is doing, just because his brother isn't?

It goes without saying at this point that I'm disappointed in L's report card. And I don't know who to be mad at. Him, for not trying harder? Me, or his dad, for not making him try harder, for not instilling a better attitude towards school? (And BTW, If anyone knows how to do that, email me to give me step by step instructions!)Or his teacher? He had a different one halfway through the year,due to the first one having a baby.( I mean really, of all the nerve, having a baby in the middle of the school year! LOL.)The first teacher likely gave out many of his marks on the second term report. The third term report, this latest one, almost ALL his marks went down! Seriously? Some stayed the same, and one, only one, went up by a grade and that was drama or something I don't care about. I couldn't believe it. Was he doing THAT poorly? Or was the first teacher's assessment that skewed? Or is this teacher just a bitch who really knows nothing about my son? I'd have to think some of that last statement is true. I know he's way better than what she says he is in math, or science. And how in the HELL did he go from an A+ in Social Studies, to a C+ in one term?

Part of me wants to march into that school tomorrow and demand answers. And you're probably thinking I should. But part of me says, who cares? I know what he's capable of, and who looks at grade three marks in the long run anyway? Plus, I don't like his teacher at all,I've never respected her since he had her in kindergarten, and I don't believe much of what comes out of her mouth! So why bother? She'd just patronize me, and stand there with that stupid smile on her face. Plus, the year is over. Time to start fresh next year.

Oh, and BTW, I had L's meeting, and all my worries were for nought. He's getting a good strong teacher next year. She's an older teacher, and R had her in second grade. She knows what she's doing. Plus, she's strict, and won't stand for any monkey-business, which is good for my monkey! Well, he doesn't think so, but it's a good thing he's a little concerned that she's stern (or "mean" as he would put it). I do remember thinking that she was quite harsh when R was in her class, but she's the type of teacher that starts the year off being very strict to get everyone in line, then she eases off a bit.

So he's not getting the teacher I wanted exactly,but for once, he's getting a decent one. Better late than never, I guess. Plus, he found out as well one of his best buddies is going to be in that class with him! He's happy about that!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Update, If Anyone Is Still There

Wow. I havent posted for a loooonngg time! So here's an update on my life:


I went to see a specialist in the field of gynecology, apparently the best in the province. I was pleased to hear that I don't need surgery at this time, and that I should stick with the medication. Ok, 99% pleased. 1% disappointed. Is that weird? I think it's the whole "someone else taking care of ME for once" thing that I was looking forward to. Not the pain, or the surgery, or the loss of my woman-hood. I guess it's just nice to get looked after. Oh, and the fun drugs are a plus as well.

Anyhow, I'm sticking with a medication called Visanne, for now. I've been on it for three months now, and my body has now adjusted to it. At first, I had bleeding/spotting that went on for over two weeks. That was annoying. Then there was the constipation. Nice. But my body seems to have adjusted to it and moved on for now, and I haven't had any bleeding or period for at least six weeks. Nice! The constipation part seems to be over too, thank god, and I've had no pain now due to the endo so it's doing it's job. The dr said I could be on it for ten more years or so. When I hit menopause age, that's when I'll likely have to have surgery. Unless it gets worse between now and then. He was also nice enough to give me three more months' worth for free (samples). That's great because we have one income and no drug plan.


L seems to be doing well lately. I attribute this to a few things. One, DH has been around a LOT more because he's in school, and this semester that's only three days a week. Two, it's summer, and who can feel down when the weather is so much nicer? (Ok, I know depression doesn't care what time of year it is, but I mean feeling low, as opposed to depressed). And three, school is almost over, with the prospect of eight weeks filled without homework or teachers. I have a meeting this coming week (Tues) with the principal to discuss L's placement next year. I mean, what class he'll be in. I feel a little sick about this and I'll tell you why: it's because I know I'm going to be disappointed and upset with the class he'll be in. And no, I don't know which one it is yet, but this is just the pattern with him. I don't know what it is, but aside from his first school year (in which he had the most AMAZING TEACHER EVER!), every year after he has got the royal shaft.
Screwed over.
Every year.
Every September I think "this year will be better, this year he can't possibly have bad luck again. This year, he'll get the teacher I want, or the next best one. His luck has GOT to CHANGE!"
But it doesn't. And now, I don't have any hope. Because even though in May, when DH and I sat down with the principal and his teacher and had a frank heart-to-heart about all our concerns and how they could help, even though the principal assured me that things would be ok for next Sept, even though he told me we'd talk about his teacher at the end of this school year, I STILL don't believe he'll get a good teacher for once. And I'll tell you why.
I know of two grade four teachers right now. There were only two gr. 4 classes this year. The one teacher, Mrs. G, is fantastic. R had her. I LOVE her! The other, Mrs. M, every other parent I've talked to hates her. She's useless.
Next sept, there has to be at least three gr.4 classes. There are four gr.3 classes now. So that means, another teacher. Who? I have no idea. I know some of the "floater" teachers in the school. Ones they call LTOs (long term occasional)and tend to teach a different grade every year. But one is moving down to K next year (the good one of course) and the other is one L has right now. For the second time in his school career. The worst thing is, is that I heard Mrs.G is not going to be teaching gr.4 next year, that she's moving down to primary. That really upset me. Because I had this small tiny hope in me, this little spark that L's luck might actually change, that I'd go into this meeting next week and the principal would tell me and L that next year his teacher would be Mrs.G. Now that hope is dashed, and I'm sick, just sick, because I know his luck hasn't changed and that he'll go in and he'll tell me L is going to be in Mrs.M's class, mainly because they have no idea who the other two teachers will be, or that one of the other teachers will be Ms.R, the teacher he has now (2x) and it definitely can't be her.
I know, I'm borrowing trouble. But if I go in to the meeting all hopeful, I'm just going to be that much more upset when I come out, so I may as well assume the worst now.

Anyway,aside from school, L was recommended through this program called Kinark that he go to this summer camp. That would be for two weeks, day camp only, and there they would talk about feelings and stuff, and also do things like play (like he would do at home),go to the beach (like he would do at home),go in the backyard (like he would...) and go to the park (again,....) They also go to Santa's Village towards the end of the second week, which I think is too juvenile for him, personally. I mean, he had pretty much stopped believing in Santa last year. The bonus is, it's all free, even the food is included, and while I feel very grateful and blessed that this was offered to us, I have my reservations about it. I would like to send him for just the counseling part, but that wouldn't be fair to do that, as other kids are waiting for his spot for a full day of camp. The rest of it we could do without. It's basically the same as home daycare, which is what I do. Plus, they go out in a van, which I strangely don't feel comfortable with, having some stranger tote my kid around. And the biggest issue is getting him there and back. If I had a minivan, maybe I could, but I don't. I can't even tell right now how many kids I'll have on any given day during the summer to look after. And that sucks. DH can do pick up and drop off most days, but not all. So, he won't be going.

Ok, guess that's it for now, whew!