Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Weekend Off

Last weekend I had three glorious days to myself. Well, not completely to myself. I did see other family members, but I had the house to myself, the bed to myself, the tv, computer and peace and quiet ALL TO MYSELF.
And it was wonderful.
On Thursday night, DH and the boys packed up and were gone by 7:00 to the cottage until Sunday. After they left, I went around to our local burger joint and grabbed myself some dinner. I sat and ate without interruptions, without having to yell at anyone to, "Just. Get. Eating!", and watched what I liked on tv. Not that there was much on. Afterward, I contemplated contacting a friend and having a movie night, but I was just so tired. I kept falling asleep on the couch. Go figure.
Finally I went up to bed and awaited my phone call letting me know that they had arrived safely.
Friday morning came fast, I find I always sleep so much better without anyone else in the bed with me. I kept having dreams all weekend though that my weekend was being ruined by either A) me giving in and going up to the cottage, or B) they all came home early!
Friday, being Canada Day, meant that not much was open, so no temptation for me to go out shopping. I started the ENORMOUS task of cleaning the house. Why, you ask, would you spend your weekend off cleaning? Because my house desperately needed it. And because it's so much easier to clean when no one else is here following me around making a mess right after me. And because looking at a completely clean house is oh, so satisfying as well as knowing it will stay that way for at least the next two days. Plus, I don't mind cleaning nearly as much when I can keep going on task (no interruptions) and I can blare my music at the same time.
After a full day of cleaning (and no, I never really finished) I took a shower and awaited my Dad's arrival. He was coming over to spend some quality time with his favourite first-born child.
Dad and I went out to eat at my new favourite Thai restaurant here in town. I can't eat there normally, as my DH is allergic to peanuts and most other nuts, and the boys are not that adventurous beyond pizza and chicken nuggets, so it was a real treat for me.
After, we strolled along the main street downtown where they had lots of vendors and bands playing for Canada Day. We stopped for a quick drink at a local bar/brewery, and then went to claim a spot along the waterfront for the fireworks later. It was a really great "date" with my dad.
Saturday, I got up later, cleaned a little bit more, then ran some errands. I really didn't have enough time to do all I was supposed to because I was too lazy to get out of bed at a decent hour, and I hurried off to go see my mom, nan, sisters, nephew and nieces. It was a lovely visit, and my mom had a bbq with lots of salads and stuff. It felt nice and a little bit evil to be getting just my own food and sitting and eating peacefully without having to make sure my children had food, a decent amount of the healthy stuff, and were eating it. My sisters were of course, running around tending to their flock while I sat back and ate. Nice.
I stayed at my mom's until almost ten, visiting with her and my nan (her mom who is over from England) and didn't have to worry about getting home at a decent time to get anyone to bed.
Sunday came quickly and I got moving with some more chores I needed to do. The family got home around 3, and I went out shortly after to grocery shop, enjoying a few more minutes of "aloneness".
Some things I learned from this weekend:
  • DH was wrong when he said, "It won't help." It did me a world of good. I'm not saying I'm supermom now, or that I have an endless well of patience, but even the time apart from me was helpful for L, I think.
  • It wasn't enough time. I really could have used a couple more days. Does it make me a bad mom to say that I didn't even miss them? I think I was too busy to. But I didn't. When they got home, it felt to me as though they had just left.
  • I didn't even miss DH. Not sure if that's a bad sign or not. I do think that if he had come home alone, leaving the boys with his mom for the rest of the week or something, it would have been nice too. We still need some time together, which I really need to arrange somehow.
  • If I was a SAHM (meaning without having to work from home!) I think my house would be really clean!
  • Even if I had two weeks alone, my house still wouldn't be clean. The more I cleaned and did the basic stuff (wash floors, vacuum, clean toilets, etc.) the more stuff I noticed that needed to be done; I need to clean the light fixtures, wash the cupboards down, clean the windows, wash the blinds, clean the screens, and so on....I'm ashamed to admit, that things like cleaning light fixtures and blinds, NEVER get done around here. NEVER. I'm too busy. I really have a hard time keeping up with the normal cleaning, that stuff is secondary, and when I do have a moment, I'd far rather curl up with a good story, or do something with the family.
  • If I was a SAHM, I think I'd lose weight. Weird? Here's my reasoning: I noticed this weekend that I stress-eat. And I eat out of boredom. When I'm working, when I have other kids here, I can't do things like get involved with cleaning. I have to watch them. I can sit on my ipod, or the computer in the same room with them, still interact with them and still watch them, but I can't physically leave and go vacuum the bedrooms upstairs (or clean the light fixtures, LOL!) I can however, take short trips upstairs to the kitchen. At which point I satisfy cravings for things I've stashed away, or things I've baked. I do believe that if my kids were in school all day while I was here, I'd be cleaning, or running errands, or volunteering, and I wouldn't be as stressed out over kids' behaviours etc, and I'd be too busy to mooch stuff to eat. Over the weekend, I barely had a snack at all. On Sunday I skipped lunch and grabbed a yogurt as I ran around trying to finish cleaning. Hell, I'd probably even have time to actually join a gym! Sadly, I'll probably never have the chance to find out my theory, so I guess I'll just have to continue fighting with my willpower.
So when's my next weekend alone? Who knows. I'm severely tempted to stay home EVERY time they go to the cottage. They really didn't seem to miss me, nor I them, so what is the point of me going? Only DH wants me there really, so he can relax while I watch the boys. I guess we'll see what happens next time the cottage gets brought up. It would be nice though, a girl can dream...


  1. Good for you! I remember my own "escape" last summer. To our cottage, ironically. Backwards from you :) It was heaven to eat what I wanted, have some silence during the day, no demands on me, etc.

    Sounds like you had a great long weekend, and a very much deserved break.

    Clean light fixtures?! Who on earth has time to do that on a regular basis?! I'm lucky if I vacuum baseboards while doing the normal vacuuming :)

    Enjoy you week - all three of your boys will likely appreciate you more for a bit!

  2. I am so happy about your great weekend alone.