Ok, we're lazy, I admit it. We haven't been doing much that's drastic to follow through with the psychiatrist's recommendation. All I've done is to keep what I learnt about how is brain thinks in mind. Which is helping - me, if anything. I did go and buy some candy to use as an incentive to get him to go to bed easier, and it works somewhat. I guess we're both dreading the whole "taking everything away" issue.
But the other day, we had another incident. L was playing with a homemade bow and arrow. He had made it himself, probably a year ago. At one point, I was making dinner, and he came into the kitchen moaning because the wood had dried out and the one end had snapped. I suggested he just retie the wire he'd used for the string part, but that was shot down.
"It won't work!" he screamed, and cracked the bow in half and threw it into the garbage. I ignored him, thinking to myself of how childish this behaviour was (and in hindsight, yeah, duh, he's a child!)but I guess he was more upset than that. He stormed off to his room.
DH came home shortly after, and I asked him to coax L downstairs. He said L wouldn't acknowledge him. So I went up a bit later, and found him sitting on the floor, next to his dresser with craft wire wrapped around his neck and tied to the dresser handles! It was a bit shocking, to say the least. I won't go on with all the details, but as soon as I called DH up to come and see what was going on, L untangled himself quick as could be. I suppose it was alright for mom to find him in that state, but not dad.
At this point, we both had a big talk with him, which now that I think about it, wasn't the right thing to do I don't think. We're not supposed to dwell on the details, on the negatives, but that's difficult when you find your son in that situation! He was trying to strangle himself!
Now, this psychiatrist said that kids this young don't really know how to kill themselves, but I beg to differ. He was definitely on the right track!
At this point, I told L that I couldn't continue to leave anything in his room that could be harmful to him. I said I wanted to be sure that when he's quiet upstairs in his room, it's because he's busy or asleep, not hurting himself. I then gathered all his invention bits and pieces, his hammer, his scissors, all the wire, and anything else that I could see as potentially dangerous, and put them all in my room under my bed. The thing is, that he didn't even get mad about it. Either he was too busy being upset about whatever his brain was dwelling on, or he was genuinely relieved that I had taken harmful things away from him. The second choice scares me to no end.
DH and I tried to discuss with him that we knew that his brain was telling him lots of bad stuff, but that when he felt this way, he needs to let us know. DH suggested he could even just say a word, or hand us some sort of token, if he couldn't find the right words to say. And we would do our best to try to help his brain get back on the right track.
I managed to redirect his thinking enough to get him to come downstairs and make his stir fried veggies for dinner. After that, he cheered up. The redirection thing works, it's just figuring out how to redirect him; I can't always let him cook or hand him candy.
So that wasn't so great, I'd thought we had moved on from the "I'm going to kill myself" stage. But at least now I have his invention stuff in my control.
Last week I also had an appt with his psychologist. That left a sour taste in my mouth. DH had taken him to the first meet-and-greet appt, and then the second was a two hour test they do for seeing if they have LDs and whatnot. So this appt I didn't bring L, since I was just getting the results of the test.
This woman didn't seem to know much. She said there wasn't much "wrong" with him that she could see. She said that he's above average intelligence, and aside from the troubles with his writing and (in my own opinion, not hers) reading, he could have been considered for an enriched program. Well, while its always nice to hear from someone else how smart your kid is, I just don't swallow all of that. He'd never have the drive to participate in an enriched program. And yes, I know how smart he is. He amazes me every day with the things he says. And so does R.
But there's nothing wrong? Really? Because I just don't get how he can't spell "could" and "use" and simple common words like that when he was supposed to know them in grade one or two.
This is how he wud rite if he wuz riting this now. He can't remember the "theres", he can't remember the "yours", I'm looking at a paper right now on which he wrote "atacers team" (attackers team). I'm actually surprised team wasn't spelled teme.
How is this not a problem? He's mid-grade four! The woman suggested Kumon, which I have briefly looked at on the Internet, and woah, it's pricey! There was no mention by her at all about his behaviour, and part of the session was her telling me about her own son and his friend! Do I care? Uh, NO!!
I'm going to pick up the test results on Friday,or rather the write-up, and view them myself with DH. Then I guess we'll show them to the school.
On a completely unrelated topic, I just found out my mom is going to visit my nan in England next month. She'll be there on Mother's Day. Is it selfish of me to feel glad about that? I always feel so much guilt on Mother's Day, about how I'd like the day to be about me (and really, it never is) and how I have to choose between making my mother happy or DH's mother happy, because its too difficult to see both on the same day (again, what about me?) This just takes some pressure off me!