Who Says Video Games Stifle Creativity?

Right now I am sitting here on the couch with a headache that is threatening to become a migraine if I try to do too much. At least that's my excuse. And I can hear the boys upstairs playing "Batman".
This weekend, I rented the Lego Batman video game for the Wii, knowing that we didn't have much planned for this long weekend (we have Family Day, a holiday, today here in Canada). This morning I woke up to the boys showing me how they had used their Lego to build their own Batman characters (very well done, I might add) and now they are role-playing Batman, even though aside from one half-hour cartoon movie we own, they have never seen the movies.
It makes me happy that they are playing this way, as sometimes I wonder about my decision to let video games into our lives. I do find that sometimes a prohibition on the DS is needed for R for a week or so, to reboot his system in a way. He tends to turn to it more and more for entertainment, and when I tell him no more, he listens but lays around listlessly moping and complaining of boredom. An enforced week off or so usually does the trick to get him back to playing more with his brother, and not being so addicted.

Guilt, guilt and more guilt

What a horrible morning I've had.
What a not-so-great summer I've had, so far.
I guess it begins with the kids I'm looking after. The dynamics of the group are such that there is an awful lot of fighting and arguing.
And it's wearing on me, day by day.
I don't know how much more I can take; something's gotta give, and soon.
I have five boys I look after, including my own. Who knew boys were such handfuls? There are two 7 year olds, one five, one four, and one just turned three. Aside from R (my angel, LOL) the other four are CONSTANTLY trying to "one-up" the others. I just don't get it. I guess it's a male thing, the whole "leader of the pack", "male dominance" BS. But it causes sooooooo much fighting. I can't take it anymore.
And as it turns out, neither can my own kids. At one point during the morning, R left the group to come into the kitchen with me (the others were outside) and said he didn't want to hear it anymore. I hear ya.
That was when I happened to witness another fight in the making. L was screaming at the four year old because he got to the swing first. Then he hauled off and punched him in the stomach!
I just couldn't believe my eyes. My kids are taught never to hit, or otherwise, and for most part they don't. L has his moments, with a swat here or there, but a full on sock to the gut?!
Being the red-head that I am, I immediately lost it - my temper that is.
That indiscretion just compounded on top of everything else that was getting on my nerves, and I completely lost my mind. I ran out the screen door, screaming at L to get inside, at which point I smacked him on the stomach (open handed though) to prove to him that it hurts. I also screamed at him at the top of my lungs; I'm sure the whole neighbourhood heard, the windows are open. I sent him up to his room and stayed in the kitchen, pacing, and literally shaking with anger.
And then it hit me.
I had done exactly what he had. I was no better than a five year old. I let all the day's (or week's) stress get to me, and I laid into him as I am not allowed to lay into the children that aren't mine. The ones that I truly want to lay into. Get it?
I feel horrible. I should be a better person that this. I just couldn't believe I had done that.
I dissolved into tears, trying not to get any in the KD I was mixing up. Then I went upstairs and apologized and cuddled with L for a while. And the look he gave me. It will haunt me forever. That trustful, sad look. The trust, that I didn't deserve.
Now I'm crying again. But I just feel so awful for doing that. Why do I let my temper get to me like that?
So now, I am trying something to hopefully help the situation from escalating again. I gave all the kids a stern talking-to at lunch. A whole big speach on being nice, not arguing, and following the rules. I also told them that I am implementing a new points system, where they will be losing points for arguing, and gaining ones for acts of kindness. The points will allow them to play video games, or not, if they don't have enough. I'm not quite sure how it's going to work out. These things always seem like a good idea at the time, but then end up being more work for me somehow. We'll see.
If this doesn't help though, I'm really afraid of my next step. I am going to have to "fire" someone. And I know who that someone is. I will have to admit failure, and just swallow my pride and tell his mother she has to find new care for him. I just can't continue to allow him to keep provoking me into this stressed out state. It's not fair, to me, or to my kids, or to the other kids either. And there doesn't seem to be a whole lot more I can do with him. I've looked after him for five long years now, and his behaviour has always been an issue. But timeouts are too juvenile for kids his age, and I am running out of ideas for punishments. I'm very limited with what I can do. So I'm praying, PRAYING, that the loss of video games will work with him.
Please let it work.

Wii

This weekend, we purchased a Nintendo Wii system. I finally gave in. I always wanted to be one of those parents that didn't let their kids have a gaming system until they were teens, due to the rise in childhood obesity. But I gave up. And in all fairness, the Wii has more physically active games, which is part of why I bought it. I have also secretly wanted one for myself anyway for quite some time now.

I plan on getting the Wii fit at some point. It scares me when I do any kind of physical activity just how out of shape I am. When I first started taking the kids to school in the mornings as well as the afternoons, I was exhausted. And it's only a ten minute walk. Now that is very sad. Of course, I console myself by saying that not everyone has to mind 9 children at the same time, so part of the exhaustion is stress.

But when I run, I almost always hurt my ankle (it twists somehow). And the feeling of the fat all over my body flopping up and down is disgusting. Then there is the part that scares me the most - my heart. Sometimes it seems to speed up, and skip beats. It's hard to describe. I had it checked out about a year ago, by having an ECG and also wearing a Holter Moniter for 48 hours. Nothing was found, and the doctor said that lots of people have it, and it generally isn't dangerous.

But still, it scares me, especially since during times when I'm straining myself (like pulling a very full wagon of three toddlers up a steep hill) it becomes worse.

So, time to get into shape. Several hundreds of dollars later, sigh...