Cottage Woes

Well here I am bitching about the cottage again. So...if you don't want to hear it, don't read this post. Maybe some of you can sympathize, or empathize, I don't know.

You already know how I feel about the cottage and going there (see July ). Every year DH has to go up there and pull out the water line, drain the pump, pull up the dock as well as the useless boat ramp (for which we have no boat), among other chores. But those are the main things. The things that HE knows how to do, and really seems to be the only person that can do them. Really, all the other closing chores can and SHOULD be done by someone else. There ARE other family members!!

Which leads to my rant...Why the F*** is it ALWAYS up to him to do EVERYTHING??!! Last weekend, he went up on Sunday, leaving me, as usual to be a single mom. I'm used to that part. Not that I like it. He took his Dad with him, which I'm grateful for, because even if his dad is getting pretty useless as far as much physical labour is concerned, I'm glad he was there in case something were to happen. It's pretty isolated up there.

So he rented a wetsuit, which had to be back to the store by 3, and proceeded to pull the water line out, and do whatever else he did. When they arrived back home, I asked how things went, only to be told that he needs to go up again because he didn't finish everything!! WHAT!! Apparently, they didn't get the dock or boat ramp up, among other chores that weren't finished by Others-who-shall-remain-nameless. It made me so mad. I asked why he wasn't able to complete his main tasks, and he informed me it was because he was busy completely other things that should have already been done, but weren't. Which made me even angrier, of course. Now instead of being angry with Them, I was angry with him as well. I mean, why couldn't he have the common sense to finish his own tasks, and then leave whatever else he didn't have time for, for the Others?!!

My sister, N, has a theory about this. She thinks, and I tend to agree, that he thrives off it. That it doesn't annoy him, as it should, that They are taking away from his very limited family time by pushing all these demands onto him. That he isn't ready to let that go, for some reason. Maybe he just likes being up there, the quiet solitude, being on his own, despite having to do chores to do it. And, when I look at it that way, I can understand.

However, that also serves to make me angrier, because HOW DARE HE?? Do I get to spend a whole beautiful day away from my family? NO. Ever? NO. I don't even have a job that I get to escape the house and kids from. He does. Plus he has school now, which takes up even more of his time as he has assignments and studying to complete. And of course, I have to pick up the slack there.

I feel stretched. Not much more, and I'll snap, like an elastic band. I know this school thing is going to end at some point, and the ends justify the means, so to speak. It will be worth it in the end when he can get a better job and be happier doing it as well. So I will bide my time there.

But come on people, pray with me here, or whatever it is we non-religious folk do. Pray that that damn effing cottage BURNS TO THE GROUND this winter!! Please!

De-personalization

WTF is our world coming to? We are becoming more and more depersonalized, don't you think? Ok, I know, I'm right in there with the rest of the people, using my computer for communicating instead of picking up the phone. But seriously...
Doesn't it bug you when you need to call someone about something, and no human is on the other end of the phone, just a machine?
I received another stupid telemarketing call today (I can tell because they are always long distance numbers I don't recognize, often starting with 1-800 or the like). They are irritating enough in and of themselves, and even worse when you answer and it's a bloody automated machine!! But to top it all off, today I answered and after that annoying delay where you say "Hello?" about five times before someone comes on, I get a machine telling me that, "Your call is important to us, please hold the line..." AS IF!!
"Screw that!" I yelled, and slammed the phone down. Like I'm going to hold for a telemarketer! What a nerve! First they don't have the courtesy to give you a real person, then they have the audacity to ask you to hold, when it was they that called you!! Unbelieveable!

Inside Boredom

The winter blahs are setting in already. After a couple of weeks of cold, rainy weather, I've gotten into the stay indoors mode. Our outdoor time is now limited to walking to and from the school twice a day. It sucks, really. I guess I could suck it up and take the kids outside anyway, but most of the idiots parents don't bring their child with outdoor appropriate clothing, which makes my job waaaaayyy harder, because then they'll get wet, and then I'll have to change them. Sigh. Try keeping a toddler off the wet grass and out of the puddles on our driveway. Not gonna happen.

So now I'm on the computer while I'm supervising the kids, inbetween diaper changes, snack feedings and fight-breakups. This is not good.

It's not good for a number of reasons.
#1. I'm sitting on my ass, which seems to make it wider somehow (weird how that happens).
#2. My brain is turning to mush from all the mindless drivel (and I don't mean your blogs, other stuff!)
#3. I'm waaaaaayyy too tempted by online shopping. I've already spend over $200 (US) on winter clothing so far. Yikes. Don't tell DH.

At least the kids are happy. For now.

Happy Anniversary to us

Today is our anniversary. I've been officially married now for 9 years, but sometimes if feels more like 19, or 29. That could be partly because we lived together for 5 years before we actually tied the knot, so really our commitment to each other has been for 14 years.

9 years ago today, right now, I was probably at the salon, getting my hair done. It was snowing on and off that day, and we had to scrape the heavy frost off the cars before going anywhere. Here are the things that stick out in my mind the most about that day:

• It was snowing, and we were disappointed, because we had wanted an outdoor wedding but had to move it inside due to too many old doddery people. I wish we had just done it anyway, and too bad for the ones who couldn't watch. It wasn't like it was a long ceremony.
• We almost had a car accident on the way to the wedding. My dad's friend was driving me and my dad in his Jag, and for some reason he decided he had the right of way at a light turning left when he clearly didn't! Thank goodness some people pay attention.
• Despite all our planning and direction to the caterers (they were the ones who insisted on specifics) they still managed to screw a great many things up.
• I remember being pleased with myself at not crying during the ceremony, particulairly the vows, more than I remember the actual ceremony. That's kind of sad. I should have just cried and concentrated on the words that were being said.
• I didn't cry at my dad's speach either, but I did at my sister's.
• The power kept going out. We had used most of our budget to secure a high-tech DJ, complete with fog machine, strobes, you name it, so that we could have the best party atmosphere. Then the stupid hall couldn't manage the electrical overload, and we had to cut back to basically just music after the power went out a few times. I was so mad about that, after all, we still had to pay for the stuff even though we couldn't use it. Not the DJ's fault though.
• By 11p.m. I was exhausted. I went and took off my dress early, only to realize that we hadn't cut the cake yet!! So I went and had to put my dress back on (sans crinolin) just to pose for some pictures. Then I took it off again.
• We left early. I couldn't take anymore. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted and feeling nauseous because of it.

So all in all, not really the best memories. I don't really look back on my wedding day with much fondness. More like, when you're looking back on a day you had when all this bad stuff kept happening, only to laugh at it now because it was so long ago. If I could do it all over again here's what I would do...ELOPE!! Yes, yes, yes!!! I seriously think that everyone who mattered could have afforded to come along, after all they spent a lot of money on dresses, gifts, and all the rest. My parents put in money towards the wedding, and definitely that money could have been put towards supplementing those that couldn't afford the trip on their own. I really wish we had done that. My friend Lisa did, and has beautiful memories and pictures to go along with it.

I've always said, and always will that the VERY BEST PART of our wedding was the honeymoon!! We went to Sandals Ocho Rios in Jamaica. We promised ourselves we'd go back at our 10 year mark, but sadly, that doesn't seem like it will happen. I don't see us any closer to that goal financially than we are right now.

I'll always have those memories though. And we both cling to them every time we hear Bob Marley crooning "Buffalo Soldier".

Pounding

My head is pounding. It has been pounding on and off for days now. I can't figure out if it's something to do with this lousy weather we've been having, of if it's to do with my period. I have been noticing a pattern lately. Headaches, centered around when I'm having my period. Weird. I never used to suffer from that. I guess we'll see tomorrow. It's supposed to be sunny.

Brithday Blues

On Friday it was my birthday. My, hmmm hmmm, 36th birthday. I don't know why, but for some reason, that number sounds so big to me. Turning 35 didn't affect me this much, or any other number. Just, 36 sounds so old. So much closer to, gulp, 40! *shudder* How depressing.

So the day started off as per normal. It was a working day, so, same old same old. Only I slept pretty badly the night before, and the day before I had been dizzy as anything upon waking, which did get somewhat better throughout the day. So I wasn't feeling 100% Friday, but what can you do? As a mom, you carry on.

My sister came over which was THE VERY BEST part of my day. Of my week for that matter. So I got to spend the day with my adorable niece and nephew and of course, my sis. However, as the day wore on, I was feeling less and less "well", but I tried to ignore it and also tried to be careful with not spreading any germs to anyone, most of all the baby. I also had the unexpected pleasure on Friday of having only two kids to look after, and they happened to be two of the easier ones. No babies!! YAHOO!

Then, partway through the day, we decided that we'd pull the boys out of school early, so that they could spend some time with their Auntie and cousins as well. I called the school and set it up, and at the second nutrition break, my sis went to the school to pick up the boys as a surprise. Of course, I still had to go back to the school later at the regular dismissal time to pick up one of the other kids I look after, but it was what it was. Well it sucked actually, because it was raining, and cold, and I was pretty sure I was starting a fever by then. But I sucked it up.

By the time everyone finally went home, and it was just me and the boys, my body was aching and I was running a temp close to 101. I dragged my shivering ass fully clothed into bed and stayed there for the night. So much for a birthday celebration. No dinner out, no cake, nothing. DH came home around 5:30, saw me in bed and resigned himself to the fact that he was in charge for the night.

Ok, being sick sucks so much when you are a mom. Nobody cares about you. Nobody checks on you, or soothes you, or asks you if you need anything. Not only that, you just fall asleep, and someone comes into the bedroom asking for something. Can't you ask Daddy?? I'M SLEEPING HERE!! You have to remind your stupid husband to actually feed the children, and absolutely nothing gets done all weekend! So the whole weekend's mess is left until you are better. I will say, however, that at least he went and got some groceries, and he did finally do some dishes, but only after I had to ask him to! What, you thought they would magically clean themselves??

But I am going to focus on the positive side, which was...I got to spend one day lounging around doing nothing but sleeping and watching tv in my pj's, and without any GUILT, so that was nice. Too bad I had to feel crappy to do that, but that's the part that nullifies the guilt, so there you go. Of course I do feel guilty that I may have infected my sister and her family, but that wasn't really my fault, I didn't realize that I was sick until later in the day, and by then it was too late. I just hope that they stay healthy.

Yesterday (Sunday) we had to go out to do some coat shopping. So I joked that my big birthday meal out was at the mall food court. Yippee.