I have some updates, and some recommendations here. First, I'll do the recommendations...
**CAUTION** If you don't like anything remotely smutty or have a huge aversion to erotica, then don't bother reading this. Recently, I purchased for my Kobo app and read the Fifty Shades Of Grey Trilogy, by E.L. James. I've actually read it before, back when it was under a different name and was classified as Twilight Fan Fiction. But it was such a good story, that I wanted to read it again, and it didn't disappoint. The books are centred around a love story between a very unlikely couple. She's a student, he's rich and powerful. She's loving and kind, he's damaged, but oh, so sweet and sexy. I don't want to give away too much of the story, but it's a great read, and I'll likely read it again soon! The author obviously had to make some changes, since it was originally a piece of fan fiction, but the characters and story are all hers. Be warned though, you can not read just the first book. Actually, I don't even think there is a true end to it. It just leaves you hanging. You could read just the first two books on their own, but then, they're good, so why wouldn't you want more?
Now, an update on L. We had an appointment with the pediatrician, (DH took him) and the pediatrician really didn't think there was much to worry about. *WHEW* He said a lot of it comes from school, and from being one of the youngest in the class. Plus, let's face it, school hasn't been too good to him. He's had a lot of incompetent teachers. So I spent some time blaming myself, even though I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it. It was more of a "Why didn't I listen to my instincts?" type of thing. I was lamenting the fact that I really should not have started him in school when I did. I should have waited until he was at least four. It all spiraled from there. Well, what's done is done. I can't change the past.
Now, we are waiting for an appointment with a counsellor. Even though the Dr. thought he was ok, he still referred us to a counselling service, so that's good. I've answered so many questions to these counsellors already, I'm starting to second-guess myself. Plus, he's been so much better lately. Not as moody, although there are of course, plenty of outbursts. I attribute most of his problem to DH. When he's around more, L is happier. Simple fact. But he can't be around more, that's all there is to it, it's life. He will have to graduate school and go back to working full time. So, I don't know if his moodiness will get worse again then. Plus, when DH goes back to work this time, it will coincide with the beginning of a new school year, another tough time for L. It won't be a good combo.
Lastly, an update on me. Back in the beginning of Feb, I had laproscopic surgery.Yesterday, I had my follow up appointment. Since I received my diagnosis of stage four endometriosis, I've been doing some reading, helped along by my good friend Lisa who sent me some info on the disease itself plus info on new medication that is available. I felt much more prepared going in to this appointment having some background information and questions prepared. Plus, DH came with me and had questions too. I can't imagine how I would have felt not knowing I even had this before my appointment. Again, I have to wonder, why wouldn't the doctor have come to see me after my surgery? Why did I have to make what was made to seem as an unorthodox phone call, to see what happened? Anyway, that was one question I forgot to ask. It doesn't change anything anyway.
Basically, I need a hysterectomy. There is no way around it. It's only a matter of when. Right now, I can keep going along as I am. I haven't had an "attack" for several months, so here's hoping it stays that way. The new medication is supposed to prevent any further growth of the endo. Eventually, if I never have the surgery, the endo could compromise my bowel. I don't want that.
So I have two choices. #1. I can wait for an indefinite amount of time to see a specialist in Hamilton. My OBGYN here recommended him, saying he's the best of the best around, and he specializes in removing endo and performing hysterectomies by laproscopic surgery. My OBGYN said himself that he wasn't good enough to perform the hysterectomy by laproscopy (not sure if that's the word or not). He is too worried about the attachment to my bowel, and that is a very touchy area. The slightest wrong move, and he could nick the bowel. Then I'd have a whole host of other problems! So the pros to this is that A) I don't have to have invasive surgery, therefore less dangerous B) the recovery would be faster. The cons are that A) it's in Hamilton (at least 2 hour drive from here) B) I don't know this doctor yet (what if he's an arrogant asshole?) C) I may have to wait a long time for an appointment and surgery D) the OBGYN said I don't need to stay in hospital, they send you home (WHAT?! Not what I would want at all, I'd like at least one night in hospital so I know everything is ok). That all being said, I'd say the pros still outweigh the cons.
My #2 choice is to stay here with my own OBGYN, have the surgery whenever, and it's a three or so day stay in hospital with a *GULP* 6 to 8 week recovery time. That's for most people to go back to work. I'm sure that people who work for themselves and/or have young children go back to work far sooner than that. The surgery is far more invasive, involving cutting me open, and manhandling of all my innards, including the bowel. My mom, who is an OR nurse, says that even if they don't cut the bowel, just handling it can cause it to shut down, or stick together inside or other really "fun" stuff. The only real pros I see to this scenario are A) it's faster (being resolved), B) I know the doctor and he's very kind and considerate, C) I would get to stay in my own hospital and have friends visit me, D) I wouldn't have a long, uncomfortable drive home after surgery, just a short one.
For now, I'm waiting to see how long I'll have to wait for an appt with Dr. Fantastic. I keep taking my new pill, and in three months I have an appt to go back to my own OBGYN and let him know how I'm progressing with that. Hopefully if I am doing well on this pill, he'll give me more for free.
Showing posts with label L. Show all posts
Showing posts with label L. Show all posts
Monday, April 2, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
So Frustrating
Not knowing what to do in a situation can be one of the most frustrating things ever. Especially when the situation has happened before, and you did what your instincts told you to do, and everything was ok. But every situation has variables. No two are the same. Especially when it comes to L.
L is eight years old now. Not a teen, not even a pre-teen really. So when he shuts me out, and refuses to talk to me like a teenager might do to their parents, it DRIVES. ME. CRAZY!
I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I've never faced this problem before. And yeah, it's such a small problem in relation to other problems other kids have, but this is my dilemma, my blog.
Here's an example:
Yesterday, I picked him and other kids up from school. Outside the school there is a small hill, that's covered in ice. Not a safe situation, but a fun one for any kid not concerned with head injuries. The kids were playing on said hill, blowing off after-school steam. Everyone was fine. L was fine. L was happy.
I gave the "one more turn" warning, and after that, turned and left. Like the Pied Piper, children followed me.
As we approached home, I noticed the gloomy look on L's face. "Now, what?" I thought. I asked him what was wrong, and he ignored me. I tried to stop him walking and look in his eyes, but he wouldn't meet my gaze. I asked again, and again, he shrugged me off and pushed past to continue on home.
And again this morning. We were walking to school, everything was hunky-dory. L stopped to slide on some ice against my advice, and the other kids were still continuing on to school, so I did too. We were only next door to the school, and I left him behind. He was not crying, he wasn't shouting, "Wait!". He didn't seem to care. And he's 8, so he can manage to walk that short distance by himself.
When we arrived at the school, he had caught up, but had that disgruntled look on his face again. I asked what was wrong, and he wouldn't answer. Again.
This kind of thing just makes my blood boil. I can't even begin to describe the inner turmoil I feel, how ANGRY and FRUSTRATED it makes me feel! I want to take him, and shake him. I want to force him to tell me what is wrong, why he is behaving like this. I want to threaten him with punishments if he continues like this.
But I don't.
It takes EVERYTHING, every ounce of control I have to walk away and leave it be. Because there isn't anything I can do. It's out of my hands. It's out of my control.
But it's not right. He shouldn't be shutting me out. Not at his age. He is still young, I feel. Logically, your mother should be the one you turn to for comfort at his age. He should be looking to me to make it better. Why is he bottling up these feelings? Is it to punish me? To make me hurt too? Because that's what it feels like.
And the frustrating thing about it is that I can't see what the sudden mood swing is from. What happened between minutes 35 and 36 of that hour? He wasn't hurt, he wasn't shouted at, he wasn't ridiculed or poked fun of. What was it?
It angers me too, because he is ignoring me, and to ignore someone when they ask you a question is just the height of rudeness in my book. And you don't ignore your parents.
So what do I do? Do I continue to question him, to demand an answer because he should not be getting away with this behaviour? Is it just bad behaviour, another form of manipulation?
Or do I leave him alone, respect his wishes? Do I allow him his privacy to brood? Do I recognize that maybe he can't help this behaviour?
But bottling up your emotions isn't healthy, right? Doesn't that lead to more problems? Shouldn't he be forced to explain what he's feeling?
The dark looks directed at me during these times (and those two examples are MERELY the tip of the iceberg!) scream to me that his ire is focused on me. That I've done something wrong, or that he wants me to notice that he's upset at something. But if the goal is to get me to notice something is wrong, then bloody well tell me what it is!!
So if he has a problem, a real issue with feelings and sorting through them, then I need to help him. But I don't know how.
And if it's a behaviour thing, then the answer to me is obvious; I need to ignore the behaviour and show him that if he wants attention, he can get it by cooperating.
L is eight years old now. Not a teen, not even a pre-teen really. So when he shuts me out, and refuses to talk to me like a teenager might do to their parents, it DRIVES. ME. CRAZY!
I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I've never faced this problem before. And yeah, it's such a small problem in relation to other problems other kids have, but this is my dilemma, my blog.
Here's an example:
Yesterday, I picked him and other kids up from school. Outside the school there is a small hill, that's covered in ice. Not a safe situation, but a fun one for any kid not concerned with head injuries. The kids were playing on said hill, blowing off after-school steam. Everyone was fine. L was fine. L was happy.
I gave the "one more turn" warning, and after that, turned and left. Like the Pied Piper, children followed me.
As we approached home, I noticed the gloomy look on L's face. "Now, what?" I thought. I asked him what was wrong, and he ignored me. I tried to stop him walking and look in his eyes, but he wouldn't meet my gaze. I asked again, and again, he shrugged me off and pushed past to continue on home.
And again this morning. We were walking to school, everything was hunky-dory. L stopped to slide on some ice against my advice, and the other kids were still continuing on to school, so I did too. We were only next door to the school, and I left him behind. He was not crying, he wasn't shouting, "Wait!". He didn't seem to care. And he's 8, so he can manage to walk that short distance by himself.
When we arrived at the school, he had caught up, but had that disgruntled look on his face again. I asked what was wrong, and he wouldn't answer. Again.
This kind of thing just makes my blood boil. I can't even begin to describe the inner turmoil I feel, how ANGRY and FRUSTRATED it makes me feel! I want to take him, and shake him. I want to force him to tell me what is wrong, why he is behaving like this. I want to threaten him with punishments if he continues like this.
But I don't.
It takes EVERYTHING, every ounce of control I have to walk away and leave it be. Because there isn't anything I can do. It's out of my hands. It's out of my control.
But it's not right. He shouldn't be shutting me out. Not at his age. He is still young, I feel. Logically, your mother should be the one you turn to for comfort at his age. He should be looking to me to make it better. Why is he bottling up these feelings? Is it to punish me? To make me hurt too? Because that's what it feels like.
And the frustrating thing about it is that I can't see what the sudden mood swing is from. What happened between minutes 35 and 36 of that hour? He wasn't hurt, he wasn't shouted at, he wasn't ridiculed or poked fun of. What was it?
It angers me too, because he is ignoring me, and to ignore someone when they ask you a question is just the height of rudeness in my book. And you don't ignore your parents.
So what do I do? Do I continue to question him, to demand an answer because he should not be getting away with this behaviour? Is it just bad behaviour, another form of manipulation?
Or do I leave him alone, respect his wishes? Do I allow him his privacy to brood? Do I recognize that maybe he can't help this behaviour?
But bottling up your emotions isn't healthy, right? Doesn't that lead to more problems? Shouldn't he be forced to explain what he's feeling?
The dark looks directed at me during these times (and those two examples are MERELY the tip of the iceberg!) scream to me that his ire is focused on me. That I've done something wrong, or that he wants me to notice that he's upset at something. But if the goal is to get me to notice something is wrong, then bloody well tell me what it is!!
So if he has a problem, a real issue with feelings and sorting through them, then I need to help him. But I don't know how.
And if it's a behaviour thing, then the answer to me is obvious; I need to ignore the behaviour and show him that if he wants attention, he can get it by cooperating.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Yet Another Quandry
Here I am, once again faced with another decision regarding L's education. As I mentioned in this post, L has two different teachers this year. I didn't update you on this, but I did in fact, talk to the principal. I didn't go in with a complaining-fix-this-now attitude, but I did go in and speak with him as a concerned parent left out of the loop.
The principal at our school really should have been a politician. Really. He always has a smile on his face, and he works very hard I think at making it seem genuine. No one can be that happy all the time to be talking to disgruntled parents and dealing with children that are causing problems or having issues. He likes to placate the parents, tell them what he thinks they want to hear without out-right lying. He paints a glorious rainbow over the situation every time.
I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he's approachable. I just wish sometimes he'd be a little more honest and less, I don't know, "everything is perfect at my school". He does know my face now though. Not sure if that's a good thing or not, LOL!
Anyhow, he once again, painted his pretty picture with words and gushed over how good these two teachers are. He explained (and not very well), that L's class was not so very different than the other grade three classes, because the other classes' teachers leave the classroom for planning time for a grand total of six hours per week. In his mind, every class has another teacher for basically what adds up to a full day over the course of the week. L's class just happens to have another teacher for two days a week.
But that's not exactly true. You see, all the classes have gym with another teacher, and library, and computers, and whatever else (like media literacy). So the teacher can use those times for their planning time. So it really doesn't add up, if you see what I'm getting at.
But back to the issue at hand. The principal also said that he purposely placed L in that classroom because of his reading and writing issues, as he feels that those two teachers would be the best ones for him. He made a point to say the issues that my husband and I spoke to him about and were concerned about last year were what prompted him.
Hm.
Basically, in his very political way and without so many words he was telling me don't I dare complain because it is for L's sake he is in that class almost at DH's and my request. In a manner of speaking.
So I decided to leave him be, and see how it pans out. He was settling into the class now and he did seem to like his teacher. He brought home this ginormous project to do over the course of two weeks that was basically a front page of a newspaper with all these sections to fill out about himself. That was like torture to L, all that writing. Long story short, there were many tears, many hours put into this and in the end, my wonderful sister N skyped with us and helped L to complete the project in no time at all. I love her!!
After that ordeal, I decided to write the teacher a note and have a meeting with her. I needed to know if this was going to be a common occurrence; what were the expectations of a grade three student and how much was I supposed to be helping? What was the amount of homework she would be sending home? I needed to make it clear to her that this was very stressful on our family, and that L just isn't ready for that level of work.
So this morning I trudged into the school at a rather early hour. The only kids at the school yet were the ones training for cross-country running. The principal met me at the front door and asked me if I was going in to see Mrs. G. I said yes, and then he said he'd walk with me. I guess my face belied terror because he laughed and said not to worry, no one's in trouble! Ha ha. I don't know why I reacted like that but I guess I just immediately think the worst when the boss or the principal wants to talk to you. Gut reaction I suppose. I always have a hard time hiding anything on my face. You can read me like a book.
He said that they were going to be moving a few students out of the class and into another classroom. He asked me if I would be ok with L being one of them. Now I'm confused. Didn't he just tell me last week that he placed L in that class for his own good? That his words, specifically, were, "Honestly, if my son were in this school I would definitely want him in this classroom." So why now is he giving me the option of moving him out? Did he think I was complaining? Did he think I was hoping for a transfer? In all honesty I kind of was, but only to another certain teacher's room, the teacher R had for grade three. Not to this other teacher's room, Mrs. V. I don't know her any better than I know L's teacher, plus she is pregnant. Which means she'll be leaving soon and he'll have yet again ANOTHER teacher! What if she's terrible? But maybe it would be better to have just one teacher for consistency's sake. What if the teacher turns out to be Mrs. B, who R had for kindergarten and is a long term supply teacher? She was amazing. Then I would be kicking myself. That's a stretch though, a big what if.
I did go in and speak with his possibly temporary teacher. She seemed nice. She definitely appeared to be on the ball. She was easy to talk to, not patronizing in any way (like L's last teacher was) and not fake. She seemed like she could be a real hard-ass if need be, but I didn't get the impression that she was overtly mean.
I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I did call another mom, whose child is L's only friend in the class. I gave her the head's up about what was happening, and told her that I was up in the air about it. I also think that the two of them should stay together, because I would feel bad for L's friend if we left him behind, and even worse for L if the friend got moved and he didn't. Then he'd really have no friends in that class.
Which brings me to another issue. L has been upset that he has "no friends" as he puts it. No one to play with at recess except his buddy J (who's in another class). Perhaps moving to that other classroom would rekindle some friendships once again. When I say his only friend in the class, I really mean that. For some strange reason, none of the other boys except for the one have ever been in L's class before. Not even kindergarten. So it's almost like starting from scratch for him.
What to do, what to do. DH will be no help. He'll likely tell me to do whatever I think best, since he has even less insight than I do into what the teachers are like. I'm thinking I'll ask L what he thinks. Maybe he can't stand the teacher, Mrs. V. I need to talk to the other mom again, see if she has any more thoughts. And lastly, I need to speak with the principal again, tell him how confused he's made me and ask him why he would even give us this choice.
GAH!!!
I'll keep you posted...
The principal at our school really should have been a politician. Really. He always has a smile on his face, and he works very hard I think at making it seem genuine. No one can be that happy all the time to be talking to disgruntled parents and dealing with children that are causing problems or having issues. He likes to placate the parents, tell them what he thinks they want to hear without out-right lying. He paints a glorious rainbow over the situation every time.
I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he's approachable. I just wish sometimes he'd be a little more honest and less, I don't know, "everything is perfect at my school". He does know my face now though. Not sure if that's a good thing or not, LOL!
Anyhow, he once again, painted his pretty picture with words and gushed over how good these two teachers are. He explained (and not very well), that L's class was not so very different than the other grade three classes, because the other classes' teachers leave the classroom for planning time for a grand total of six hours per week. In his mind, every class has another teacher for basically what adds up to a full day over the course of the week. L's class just happens to have another teacher for two days a week.
But that's not exactly true. You see, all the classes have gym with another teacher, and library, and computers, and whatever else (like media literacy). So the teacher can use those times for their planning time. So it really doesn't add up, if you see what I'm getting at.
But back to the issue at hand. The principal also said that he purposely placed L in that classroom because of his reading and writing issues, as he feels that those two teachers would be the best ones for him. He made a point to say the issues that my husband and I spoke to him about and were concerned about last year were what prompted him.
Hm.
Basically, in his very political way and without so many words he was telling me don't I dare complain because it is for L's sake he is in that class almost at DH's and my request. In a manner of speaking.
So I decided to leave him be, and see how it pans out. He was settling into the class now and he did seem to like his teacher. He brought home this ginormous project to do over the course of two weeks that was basically a front page of a newspaper with all these sections to fill out about himself. That was like torture to L, all that writing. Long story short, there were many tears, many hours put into this and in the end, my wonderful sister N skyped with us and helped L to complete the project in no time at all. I love her!!
After that ordeal, I decided to write the teacher a note and have a meeting with her. I needed to know if this was going to be a common occurrence; what were the expectations of a grade three student and how much was I supposed to be helping? What was the amount of homework she would be sending home? I needed to make it clear to her that this was very stressful on our family, and that L just isn't ready for that level of work.
So this morning I trudged into the school at a rather early hour. The only kids at the school yet were the ones training for cross-country running. The principal met me at the front door and asked me if I was going in to see Mrs. G. I said yes, and then he said he'd walk with me. I guess my face belied terror because he laughed and said not to worry, no one's in trouble! Ha ha. I don't know why I reacted like that but I guess I just immediately think the worst when the boss or the principal wants to talk to you. Gut reaction I suppose. I always have a hard time hiding anything on my face. You can read me like a book.
He said that they were going to be moving a few students out of the class and into another classroom. He asked me if I would be ok with L being one of them. Now I'm confused. Didn't he just tell me last week that he placed L in that class for his own good? That his words, specifically, were, "Honestly, if my son were in this school I would definitely want him in this classroom." So why now is he giving me the option of moving him out? Did he think I was complaining? Did he think I was hoping for a transfer? In all honesty I kind of was, but only to another certain teacher's room, the teacher R had for grade three. Not to this other teacher's room, Mrs. V. I don't know her any better than I know L's teacher, plus she is pregnant. Which means she'll be leaving soon and he'll have yet again ANOTHER teacher! What if she's terrible? But maybe it would be better to have just one teacher for consistency's sake. What if the teacher turns out to be Mrs. B, who R had for kindergarten and is a long term supply teacher? She was amazing. Then I would be kicking myself. That's a stretch though, a big what if.
I did go in and speak with his possibly temporary teacher. She seemed nice. She definitely appeared to be on the ball. She was easy to talk to, not patronizing in any way (like L's last teacher was) and not fake. She seemed like she could be a real hard-ass if need be, but I didn't get the impression that she was overtly mean.
I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I did call another mom, whose child is L's only friend in the class. I gave her the head's up about what was happening, and told her that I was up in the air about it. I also think that the two of them should stay together, because I would feel bad for L's friend if we left him behind, and even worse for L if the friend got moved and he didn't. Then he'd really have no friends in that class.
Which brings me to another issue. L has been upset that he has "no friends" as he puts it. No one to play with at recess except his buddy J (who's in another class). Perhaps moving to that other classroom would rekindle some friendships once again. When I say his only friend in the class, I really mean that. For some strange reason, none of the other boys except for the one have ever been in L's class before. Not even kindergarten. So it's almost like starting from scratch for him.
What to do, what to do. DH will be no help. He'll likely tell me to do whatever I think best, since he has even less insight than I do into what the teachers are like. I'm thinking I'll ask L what he thinks. Maybe he can't stand the teacher, Mrs. V. I need to talk to the other mom again, see if she has any more thoughts. And lastly, I need to speak with the principal again, tell him how confused he's made me and ask him why he would even give us this choice.
GAH!!!
I'll keep you posted...
Monday, September 12, 2011
Conflicted
I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post, but this year L has two different teachers at school. He is in grade three, and it's kind of an important year, so I'm not quite sure how to take this news. Not that we've had any actual "official news" about it. Only what he and the other boy in his class have mentioned.
I am frustrated. It seems that every year I am fighting with the school about something to do with L's class placement. Or I'm upset but silent about it.
In JK, L had the most amazing teacher. She made all the difference in my choice to leave L in school. He was so young when he started, just 3.5 really, as his birthday is late December. He was just a baby, to me, and never been away from me. He really struggled with being away from me. And having school every other day for a full day each time was hard on him. He was still napping at the time too! If it hadn't been for his wonderful, caring teacher, plus the EA in the room (she was amazing too and helped all the children, not just the one or two she was assigned to), I am sure I would have pulled him out and left it for the year.
So the next year, we happily started SK and got to know his new teacher. She was young. She obviously didn't have children herself and had limited experience (from what I could tell) with children that young. She was coming from teaching grade four, apparently. Let's just say, I didn't agree with her philosophies and how she approached the children. She wasn't mean...just....not motherly AT ALL. And I'm sorry, but a kindergarten teacher needs to be motherly.
As the end of SK approached, I expressed my desire to her that L not be placed in a certain grade one classroom. Any other teacher was fine. Of course, he was placed in the one teacher's classroom I didn't want. And his best friend from kindergarten wasn't in his class either, because the teacher felt it would be beneficial to split them up.
Beneficial to who?? They weren't trouble-makers. They weren't co-dependent on each other. They just needed some comfort of a familiar face, each other. They were two little boys with similar personalities and similar birthdates that got along really well with each other.
So we struggled through grade one with the teacher that, when you mentioned you had her to other parents they gave you the sympathetic look like your pet just died. She wasn't mean, but not a strong teacher at all. She was flakey and phoney and when you spoke to her you felt like she was being very condescending and that she was wanting to be anywhere but in your presence. Again, another single woman with no children of her own, although she would have been much more suited to kindergarten. On top of all that, his classroom was a split class, a strange gr.1/SK split. My L is very distractable. He can be distracted from a task by the wind. Imagine trying to make a gr.1 child work and focus, while kindergarten children are playing around him.
He came out of grade one with the teacher telling me that he wasn't where he should be in his reading and writing. Well, go figure.
The morning gr.2 started I was hopeful, optimistic and rejoiced that we would get a fresh start. However, I quickly learned that he had been placed in her classroom, yet AGAIN!!
DH and I couldn't believe it. How could this be happening? We went straight to the principal and complained.
I was distraught. I had even written a very nice and hopeful letter to the principal the previous spring asking very nicely if L could be placed in a certain teacher's classroom, one his brother was in before, and the teacher I knew to be fantastic and amazing and that would get him up to where he needed to be.
I don't think he even read that letter. In a very patronizing tone, the principal told us that that classroom was full, save one spot, and that that spot would only be given to a girl. RRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!! He could take L out of the classroom and put him in one of the other classrooms, both strong teachers I knew well, but both teaching splits. So we had to weigh the options. What would be better, have him in the weak teacher's class, or have him in a split? (Again, very distracting for him). Since his best buddy was in his class this year, we decided to stay where we were. I'm still not sure that was a good decision....
This year, again, I was hopeful. Positive that things could only be good. We had had three shoddy years. Our luck had to change.
The first day of school dawned, and in the line-up to go in, we learned his teacher was not going to be one of the other three that I knew of, but a different one. Ok, that's fine, I thought, I don't know any of R's teachers either with him being the oldest and being the "guinea pig". I have no expectations this way. L was dismayed to learn who she was, as he knew her from in the school. Apparently, she normally teaches all the students something called Media Literacy. I'm not really sure what that is, or why we need it, but whatever.
As the afternoon came to a close that first day, I learned more disheartening news. L was to have not just this M.L. teacher, but another as well, because she still has to teach M.L. two days a week.
I'm not really sure that having two different teachers is the best thing for L to have. He needs consistency. I'm sure that these two teachers are fully qualified and all, but they are two different people, with two different teaching styles, two different personalities, and two different philosophies. Who will teach what? Will they both teach a little of everything, or will they split up the subjects? (Which would be best, I think). If L only likes one of them, will he be miserable a few days a week and happy the other? It's only inevitable that he will have a preference for one over the other.
The thing that I'm most perturbed about, is that the school itself hasn't even bothered to send out an official notice of this. Were they not going to tell us this information? Did they not think it important enough to have the courtesy of letting the parents know?
I am frustrated, as I said. And weary. I know if I go in and complain and question, I'm going to get the same old patronizing speech as usual. Last year, about two thirds of the way through the year, we sat down with the good ol' principal and his sidekick VP and had a chat about some issues occurring with last year's teacher. After venting our frustrations and again reiterating our dismay at having the same teacher two years in a row, the principal assured us that next year he'd make sure L had a good teacher, and was in a good situation.
Yeah, thanks so much buddy.
I wish I had recorded that conversation so I could play it back to him.
I am frustrated. It seems that every year I am fighting with the school about something to do with L's class placement. Or I'm upset but silent about it.
In JK, L had the most amazing teacher. She made all the difference in my choice to leave L in school. He was so young when he started, just 3.5 really, as his birthday is late December. He was just a baby, to me, and never been away from me. He really struggled with being away from me. And having school every other day for a full day each time was hard on him. He was still napping at the time too! If it hadn't been for his wonderful, caring teacher, plus the EA in the room (she was amazing too and helped all the children, not just the one or two she was assigned to), I am sure I would have pulled him out and left it for the year.
So the next year, we happily started SK and got to know his new teacher. She was young. She obviously didn't have children herself and had limited experience (from what I could tell) with children that young. She was coming from teaching grade four, apparently. Let's just say, I didn't agree with her philosophies and how she approached the children. She wasn't mean...just....not motherly AT ALL. And I'm sorry, but a kindergarten teacher needs to be motherly.
As the end of SK approached, I expressed my desire to her that L not be placed in a certain grade one classroom. Any other teacher was fine. Of course, he was placed in the one teacher's classroom I didn't want. And his best friend from kindergarten wasn't in his class either, because the teacher felt it would be beneficial to split them up.
Beneficial to who?? They weren't trouble-makers. They weren't co-dependent on each other. They just needed some comfort of a familiar face, each other. They were two little boys with similar personalities and similar birthdates that got along really well with each other.
So we struggled through grade one with the teacher that, when you mentioned you had her to other parents they gave you the sympathetic look like your pet just died. She wasn't mean, but not a strong teacher at all. She was flakey and phoney and when you spoke to her you felt like she was being very condescending and that she was wanting to be anywhere but in your presence. Again, another single woman with no children of her own, although she would have been much more suited to kindergarten. On top of all that, his classroom was a split class, a strange gr.1/SK split. My L is very distractable. He can be distracted from a task by the wind. Imagine trying to make a gr.1 child work and focus, while kindergarten children are playing around him.
He came out of grade one with the teacher telling me that he wasn't where he should be in his reading and writing. Well, go figure.
The morning gr.2 started I was hopeful, optimistic and rejoiced that we would get a fresh start. However, I quickly learned that he had been placed in her classroom, yet AGAIN!!
DH and I couldn't believe it. How could this be happening? We went straight to the principal and complained.
I was distraught. I had even written a very nice and hopeful letter to the principal the previous spring asking very nicely if L could be placed in a certain teacher's classroom, one his brother was in before, and the teacher I knew to be fantastic and amazing and that would get him up to where he needed to be.
I don't think he even read that letter. In a very patronizing tone, the principal told us that that classroom was full, save one spot, and that that spot would only be given to a girl. RRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!! He could take L out of the classroom and put him in one of the other classrooms, both strong teachers I knew well, but both teaching splits. So we had to weigh the options. What would be better, have him in the weak teacher's class, or have him in a split? (Again, very distracting for him). Since his best buddy was in his class this year, we decided to stay where we were. I'm still not sure that was a good decision....
This year, again, I was hopeful. Positive that things could only be good. We had had three shoddy years. Our luck had to change.
The first day of school dawned, and in the line-up to go in, we learned his teacher was not going to be one of the other three that I knew of, but a different one. Ok, that's fine, I thought, I don't know any of R's teachers either with him being the oldest and being the "guinea pig". I have no expectations this way. L was dismayed to learn who she was, as he knew her from in the school. Apparently, she normally teaches all the students something called Media Literacy. I'm not really sure what that is, or why we need it, but whatever.
As the afternoon came to a close that first day, I learned more disheartening news. L was to have not just this M.L. teacher, but another as well, because she still has to teach M.L. two days a week.
I'm not really sure that having two different teachers is the best thing for L to have. He needs consistency. I'm sure that these two teachers are fully qualified and all, but they are two different people, with two different teaching styles, two different personalities, and two different philosophies. Who will teach what? Will they both teach a little of everything, or will they split up the subjects? (Which would be best, I think). If L only likes one of them, will he be miserable a few days a week and happy the other? It's only inevitable that he will have a preference for one over the other.
The thing that I'm most perturbed about, is that the school itself hasn't even bothered to send out an official notice of this. Were they not going to tell us this information? Did they not think it important enough to have the courtesy of letting the parents know?
I am frustrated, as I said. And weary. I know if I go in and complain and question, I'm going to get the same old patronizing speech as usual. Last year, about two thirds of the way through the year, we sat down with the good ol' principal and his sidekick VP and had a chat about some issues occurring with last year's teacher. After venting our frustrations and again reiterating our dismay at having the same teacher two years in a row, the principal assured us that next year he'd make sure L had a good teacher, and was in a good situation.
Yeah, thanks so much buddy.
I wish I had recorded that conversation so I could play it back to him.
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