So tonight was the night I'd been dreading. I'd been anxious about it most of the weekend. It was an extra long weekend here, with Friday being the day we skipped school and went skiing, and Monday was a holiday called Family Day.
Tomorrow, it's back to work and of course, back to school and anxiety for L.
We went to the movies this afternoon, and so when we were on our way home I guess it hit L that this was it - the end of the weekend. He started groaning and saying oh no. DH and I both knew why without asking him. We managed to maintain through distraction and subject changes a fairly pleasant evening though, up until bedtime. L started to cry, and after some discussion this weekend, DH and I have decided to revert somewhat back to the way we used to handle his bedtime upsets; by not giving them as much attention. I hate to abandon him to his depression though, but I really don't know how much of his crying is the depression, and how much of it is for attention. Definitely tonight I can say that at least 70% of it was for attention. He had such a good day and a not so bad evening even, he was just disappointed for it to end.
And we all are, aren't we? I mean, who doesn't want the weekend to last forever? It's a very lucky few of us that actually look forward to their work week. I just wish I could get him to understand that we're all understanding of that feeling, and that you need to look for the small joys throughout your day and week to look forwards to.
But he won't. It's like he is just in hell. And all he can do is endure it and live through the torture.
I did end up going back to his room. He said he was crying because he misses our old dog, Vader. He said there is only one kid at school who could understand that. I think he feels worried, anxious and sad, and he looks for reasons why he should feel that way to justify it to himself. This time it was Vader, other times it's things like, "I don't have any friends at school."
That's a theory of mine anyway.
I'm nervous about the morning. It's making me sick, actually. I'm almost as much of a wreck as he is at this point.