Ok, maybe not an era, but it's the end of an age, a term, a life-stage.
Next month I'm getting my tubes tied. And I'm a little sad, but mostly I know this is the right decision. Let's face it, 38 is getting a little old to have a baby. And please don't be offended if you're reading this and you're pregnant and like, forty or something. I'm not judging others, I'm just saying 38 is too old for ME to have another child.
Intentionally.
I'd be freaking out but also happy if I found out I was pregnant right now. It definitely wouldn't be an intentional thing though. I know lots of people get pregnant "accidentally", but how "accidental" is it, really?
"The condom broke" : Really? How rough are you when putting it on? Those things are pretty tough!
"My pill didn't work" : Hm. There are things that can affect the efficiency of the pill, but if you're on a medication, you should educate yourself! Mostly, I think people aren't taking it properly. I've had moments when I worried about being pregnant while on the pill, and it's NEVER happened. Even with me screwing up the day I should have started the next month's pack, or missing a pill in the middle, it still hasn't happened.
"We were using the withdrawal method" : Ok, and you're surprised about being pregnant?
Anyway, we're done. As much as I love my kids, and love babies, I just can't imagine starting all over again. The lack of sleep, being a slave to someone helpless, not owning my own body for years, the sickness and all the other fun pregnancy symptoms, the added stress of someone else to worry about - all things I can live happily without.
So next month when I go in for my cyst removal, I'm also getting my tubes tied. Might as well, since they will already have me there on the table and in that same area.
Mostly I'm sad because the biggest pat of it is that it means I'm getting old. Moving past the child-bearing years is huge to me. Too old to have kids = too old in general.
At least I don't have grey hair yet.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Kid Quips
Here was my funny moment of the week. It was hilarious at the time, however I think it always loses a bit of it's hilarity when I try to recount it. I guess you need to be there, or really know and appreciate the kids. Anyhow, hopefully this gives you a bit of a giggle, if not a guffaw.
Some background info;
Ethan - 3.5 years, going on 35, amazing language skills (he's been speaking in full sentences since before he was two), stubborn as heck and a little precocious at times but cracks me up all the time!
Kendra - almost 2, limited language skills, probably in the 80th percentile or so for height and weight, typical toddler in attitude and actions.
I was changing Kendra's diaper after lunch and before her nap. For this, she was standing on the change table, pants down, shirt hiked up, belly and bits all exposed. Ethan was using the sink to wash up after lunch. We were having a conversation about who was bigger, as I had exclaimed with a grunt that Kendra was getting very heavy when I had lifted her up onto the table. Ethan, being a little on the short side, is a bit defensive about his size, and will use any opportunity to make his "real" size known.
So naturally, he claimed fervently, "I'm bigger and I weigh more than Kendra, though."
Of course I had to set him straight.
"But she's catching up to you quickly. She's pretty much as tall as you are now, and I think she's just as heavy. Just look at her big belly," I said, tickling it. (You have to picture the big full round toddler belly, especially after lunch!)
Ethan, turned around from the sink to look, his eyes as big as saucers, "Wow! She's almost pregnant!!"
Oh My Goodness but didn't I laugh soooo hard at that!
Some background info;
Ethan - 3.5 years, going on 35, amazing language skills (he's been speaking in full sentences since before he was two), stubborn as heck and a little precocious at times but cracks me up all the time!
Kendra - almost 2, limited language skills, probably in the 80th percentile or so for height and weight, typical toddler in attitude and actions.
I was changing Kendra's diaper after lunch and before her nap. For this, she was standing on the change table, pants down, shirt hiked up, belly and bits all exposed. Ethan was using the sink to wash up after lunch. We were having a conversation about who was bigger, as I had exclaimed with a grunt that Kendra was getting very heavy when I had lifted her up onto the table. Ethan, being a little on the short side, is a bit defensive about his size, and will use any opportunity to make his "real" size known.
So naturally, he claimed fervently, "I'm bigger and I weigh more than Kendra, though."
Of course I had to set him straight.
"But she's catching up to you quickly. She's pretty much as tall as you are now, and I think she's just as heavy. Just look at her big belly," I said, tickling it. (You have to picture the big full round toddler belly, especially after lunch!)
Ethan, turned around from the sink to look, his eyes as big as saucers, "Wow! She's almost pregnant!!"
Oh My Goodness but didn't I laugh soooo hard at that!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sigh Of Relief Part 2
Ok, I had to just quickly post an update to my recent posting.
I confessed to DH tonight that I had been worried, and that my period was a couple of days late. I'm not sure how the conversation came up, but it did quite naturally for some reason during dinner. 'Course, we're trying to talk in code 'cause the kids are sitting right there, which is awkward, but the message was put across, something like this:
Me: "Well, I was actually a little concerned for a couple of days there; It was a bit late."
DH: staring blankly ahead with a funny sort of smile on his face.
Me: "What?"
DH: "Well, it wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen."
Me: WTF??
DH: "Course that would make that little trip to Peterborough a little bit more necessary, wouldn't it?" (To a clinic that does laser vasectomies, apparantly)
Me: still dumbfounded "Yeah, I guess so."
So, hmmmmmm.....
I confessed to DH tonight that I had been worried, and that my period was a couple of days late. I'm not sure how the conversation came up, but it did quite naturally for some reason during dinner. 'Course, we're trying to talk in code 'cause the kids are sitting right there, which is awkward, but the message was put across, something like this:
Me: "Well, I was actually a little concerned for a couple of days there; It was a bit late."
DH: staring blankly ahead with a funny sort of smile on his face.
Me: "What?"
DH: "Well, it wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen."
Me: WTF??
DH: "Course that would make that little trip to Peterborough a little bit more necessary, wouldn't it?" (To a clinic that does laser vasectomies, apparantly)
Me: still dumbfounded "Yeah, I guess so."
So, hmmmmmm.....
A Sigh Of Relief?
The past few days have been like a living, well, not hell really, but... well in turmoil. That I've bore alone. You see, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I might have been *deep breath*, PREGNANT!
Firstly, I should explain something. I'm on the Pill. My pills are a pack of 21. I've never felt it necessary to take the 7 sugar pills that make up a 28 pack, but perhaps after this weekend, I should reconsider. So with my pack of pills, they are all the same. Each pill has the same ingredient, so it doesn't matter where you start. You can start at the beginning, middle or end, wherever. They usually include a set of stickers you can paste on the top with the days of the week, to help you remember, but I often don't use that either. I rely on my oh-so-wonderful memory.
Now, often, for some reason, my period will start on the second-to-last or last day of my pill pack. I think it's because the dosage of hormones or whatever isn't quite strong enough for me, although the dr. has assured me it's still safe. I've become accustomed to just stopping taking the pill at that point. I figure, I'm already bleeding, what's the point in taking a pill to prevent pregnancy? It saves me pills in the end, and after a while, one or two or three pills can add up nicely to another pack! At that point, I just take seven days off and then start again the next "month".
With me so far? Ok.
So at the beginning of this past cycle we were on vacation in Ottawa. I did bring a new pack of pills to start taking, but..... I kind of forgot. Oops. So I ended up starting my new pack a couple of days late.
Fast forward to this past weekend. As far as I could remember, I could have SWORN, that the last cycle I had started on a Saturday, the Sat before we went away (because I remember my period ending while we were at the hotel). So I stopped my pill on Friday (just past). Now, usually, my body is already giving me signs of my period coming, you know, that lovely gross spotting you get to begin with. I usually start my period before my pills are even done, remember? So when I didn't get my period on Sat., I was starting to wonder.... However, for any normal person, you really wouldn't start bleeding that day, because the pill is still in your system. You have to give it at least 24 hrs or so.
So, I "prepared" myself Sat night, and woke up Sunday morning to....
NOTHING.
Gads.
At this point, I'm starting to imagine pregnancy symptoms. My mind is going, going, going and I'm thinking about it CONSTANTLY!! I was going to the bathroom I swear, at least every half hour to check (inspect with excrutiating attention to the TP). Still nothing. The worst part was, is that I had this terrible headache, probably due to the weather, and I didn't know if I should be taking anything. So I took acetaminophen, which took the edge off a bit.
All I could think about was what if??? Most of me rejected the idea. There are so many reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea.
#1. Really bad timing - DH is going back to college fulltime in the fall and he is probably not going to be working.
#2. Really bad timing - (I know, I said that already) I am taking on a new baby in the fall, as well as getting a toddler back fulltime, as well as a CRAZY INSANE schedule, so I really don't know how I would have handled being sick and tired as well as all that.
#3. I already gave away all our baby stuff, so we would have to somehow reaquire it.
#4. How was I going to tell DH? That was the part I was most scared of. I was so afraid that he would be mad, and think I did it on purpose, not to mention all the stress he's already under in regards to work, etc...
But a small part of me was rejoicing. I was already imagining names, how we would have to move the boys around (bedrooms I mean), and how wonderous and exciting it would be to see them as big brothers.
So last night, I bought a test, secretly, and hid it in my purse. My plan was that in the morning, when DH got up to shower, I would sneak downstairs and use the bathroom down there if nothing happened in the night. But something did happen in the night. Along with all the fun cramps as well. Ick.
So while I silently breathed a sigh of relief to myself in the bathroom this morning, a very small part of me was crying.
Firstly, I should explain something. I'm on the Pill. My pills are a pack of 21. I've never felt it necessary to take the 7 sugar pills that make up a 28 pack, but perhaps after this weekend, I should reconsider. So with my pack of pills, they are all the same. Each pill has the same ingredient, so it doesn't matter where you start. You can start at the beginning, middle or end, wherever. They usually include a set of stickers you can paste on the top with the days of the week, to help you remember, but I often don't use that either. I rely on my oh-so-wonderful memory.
Now, often, for some reason, my period will start on the second-to-last or last day of my pill pack. I think it's because the dosage of hormones or whatever isn't quite strong enough for me, although the dr. has assured me it's still safe. I've become accustomed to just stopping taking the pill at that point. I figure, I'm already bleeding, what's the point in taking a pill to prevent pregnancy? It saves me pills in the end, and after a while, one or two or three pills can add up nicely to another pack! At that point, I just take seven days off and then start again the next "month".
With me so far? Ok.
So at the beginning of this past cycle we were on vacation in Ottawa. I did bring a new pack of pills to start taking, but..... I kind of forgot. Oops. So I ended up starting my new pack a couple of days late.
Fast forward to this past weekend. As far as I could remember, I could have SWORN, that the last cycle I had started on a Saturday, the Sat before we went away (because I remember my period ending while we were at the hotel). So I stopped my pill on Friday (just past). Now, usually, my body is already giving me signs of my period coming, you know, that lovely gross spotting you get to begin with. I usually start my period before my pills are even done, remember? So when I didn't get my period on Sat., I was starting to wonder.... However, for any normal person, you really wouldn't start bleeding that day, because the pill is still in your system. You have to give it at least 24 hrs or so.
So, I "prepared" myself Sat night, and woke up Sunday morning to....
NOTHING.
Gads.
At this point, I'm starting to imagine pregnancy symptoms. My mind is going, going, going and I'm thinking about it CONSTANTLY!! I was going to the bathroom I swear, at least every half hour to check (inspect with excrutiating attention to the TP). Still nothing. The worst part was, is that I had this terrible headache, probably due to the weather, and I didn't know if I should be taking anything. So I took acetaminophen, which took the edge off a bit.
All I could think about was what if??? Most of me rejected the idea. There are so many reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea.
#1. Really bad timing - DH is going back to college fulltime in the fall and he is probably not going to be working.
#2. Really bad timing - (I know, I said that already) I am taking on a new baby in the fall, as well as getting a toddler back fulltime, as well as a CRAZY INSANE schedule, so I really don't know how I would have handled being sick and tired as well as all that.
#3. I already gave away all our baby stuff, so we would have to somehow reaquire it.
#4. How was I going to tell DH? That was the part I was most scared of. I was so afraid that he would be mad, and think I did it on purpose, not to mention all the stress he's already under in regards to work, etc...
But a small part of me was rejoicing. I was already imagining names, how we would have to move the boys around (bedrooms I mean), and how wonderous and exciting it would be to see them as big brothers.
So last night, I bought a test, secretly, and hid it in my purse. My plan was that in the morning, when DH got up to shower, I would sneak downstairs and use the bathroom down there if nothing happened in the night. But something did happen in the night. Along with all the fun cramps as well. Ick.
So while I silently breathed a sigh of relief to myself in the bathroom this morning, a very small part of me was crying.
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