Conflicted

This weekend we had a surprise that DH's Nan sprung on us. She wants to........get this................

TAKE US TO DISNEY!!!



Why then, you may ask, am I conflicted??

Don't get me wrong, this is a wonderful opportunity and a HUGE gift! I don't really know what made her decide to spring this on us, but I think it has to do with the fact that she loves to travel, especially in the spring for some reason, and she has run out of travel partners (she is 85? I think this year). I believe she mentioned taking K, DH's sis, and MIL and FIL, but they couldn't (wouldn't?) go. I'm not sure if that makes us her last choice, or if she was trying for a large family trip.

Whatever.

I am conflicted for several reasons. And here they are:

#1. As I'm sure you heard me gripe about before, we have no money. Yes, I know she is paying for the trip, but that likely doesn't include spending money, food, and definitely doesn't include the money I'm going to lose by taking time off. No work, no pay. I'm not sure about the food part. I mean, how do you ask someone who has generously offered to take you and your family to Disney if she is also going to pay for all your food? You can't. At least not without sounding like a greedy asshole.

#2. She has decided to do it in April, possibly over Easter. Wow, that's soon. Great, in that we won't have a long wait to go on vacation, but not great in that I feel bad giving the parents so little notice of my time off and not much time to try to save anything we can (yeah, right) for all the incidentals. Not to mention give my own kids time to save up their allowances for spending money. Also great that she is thinking of us in that going over Easter break gives me a few days that I don't have to worry about time off, but not great in that it is probably going to be very busy and flights may already be full up. I don't want to be stuck flying on a flight with stopovers, or a flight that leaves at 10:00 at night. (Yes, I know, beggars can't be choosers)

#3. Do I want to stay in a hotel and share my family's first Disney experience with an 85-year-old woman? Do we all have to sleep in the same hotel room? Will we be at her mercy as far as timelines, where to go, where to eat, when to eat? She can be real ornery at times, and extremely stubborn. She and DH butt heads, and me, being a Libra wants nothing more than peace and harmony. Part of why I hate going to the cottage is the awkward tension in the air and snide comments under the breath when she and another family member get into it. And I know that there is no way that we could spend 4-7 days together (it's undetermined yet for how long) without getting on each other's nerves.
And if we do stay in the same hotel room, I just don't think my kids could behave for that amount of time. I would be so tense by the end of it from trying to keep them calm, quiet and respectful, that I would need another vacation/therapy/hospitalization afterward to recover. My kids are generally good kids, but let's face it, they're no angels. They need time to misbehave, have a whine-fest or stubborn moment, or a melt-down from over-stimulation and over-tiredness. I expect that, they're kids. But I know that the Nan will expect excellent behaviour, and DH, who always bows to his family's expectations, will be extra hard on them just to be sure they behave, which won't make it a fun experience for anyone. I'll be tense and annoyed, they'll be pouty, and DH will be...well, he doesn't forgive and forget anything very quickly.

So what to do, what to do...I need DH to convince her that we need TWO hotel rooms. I just really don't think all of us staying in one room will be very good. Never mind that it's difficult to find a hotel room that sleeps three adults! And we should stay on the resort. I know that having the free shuttle to and from Disney multiple times/day will be best. If we stay off resort, in a cheaper hotel, we'll have to rent a car, then we're all stuck at the park together until we all decide to go back. What if she's too tired? She is 85. We can go and go. And knowing that this may be the only Disney trip we get for a long, long time, I want us to make the most of it, which will probably mean spending long hours at the parks.

We do have one issue to resolve first before we can even make permanent plans. DH has to see if he can even enter the U.S. I never blogged about this before, and I won't tell all now, but he recently had some legal trouble (not to worry, he didn't try to kill anyone, or set fire to anything, or anything equally horrible or shocking, it involved his former employer and that's all I'm saying for now...). The court side of it is done, and he's in the clear (as he should be! but still, thank GOD!) but that doesn't necessarily mean that the U.S. border security know that or anything. They are nazi assholes tricky buggers those guards. We tried to cross the border last year, and boy oh boy was that a scary experience! When they swipe/scan/whatever your passport, "things" show up. So we are hoping this "thing" is either not there anymore, or it shows that it's been resolved. Don't worry, we're not going to just hop on the plane and hope for the best. DH has to take a little drive to the Niagara border very soon and see what happens that way. GULP. Keep your fingers crossed!

So there's my dilemma. I'm happy, yet not. To put it mildly, it has me rather stressed out. I'm not excited at all, because I refuse to be excited until I'm actually packing for the trip. Then I'll know it's a go. It's like last time, in October. We tried then, but couldn't go because of DH. I'm just glad we didn't tell the kids. And we haven't yet this time either, so SHHHHHHH!