Feeling Bummed

Yeah, this is a mopey, whiny post. You've been warned.

I'm just feeling bummed out. It started with something that happened with my mom. This is going to sound cryptic, but you'll see why by the end, and it's because my dad reads this blog. My mom did something without telling me about it. And I found out through one of my sisters. My sister didn't/wasn't supposed to tell me, but I kind of put her on the spot and in a situation that she either had to lie, or tell me. She isn't into lying, so she told me, then later told my mom she told me. I was kind of surprised my mom didn't tell me, and then a bit hurt. Apparently, my mom didn't tell me because she didn't want my dad to know. (So dad, when you read this, just leave it as is and don't ask questions please, PLEASE! And definitely don't say anything to any of the other "kids" or mom!) And apparently, she doesn't want my dad to know a lot of things. She said that he "always knows stuff, and it's none of his damn business". OKAAAAAYYYYY......
Really, I guess what she was saying was that I am telling him stuff, as if I'm going around gossiping about her to my dad. Which I don't. I tell him small things, things which I've never considered to be personal, but apparently they are. I guess EVERYTHING is personal according to her.
You see, she made me feel like some kind of snitch. Like I'm untrustworthy. Like a child. If she had just said to me to begin with, "Please don't ever discuss me or any aspect of my life with your father," then I could have done that. I didn't know that EVERYTHING was taboo!!
So she called and sort of apologized, meaning, she said she was sorry she didn't tell me but.... And because I didn't want to make our relationship more troubled or rocky, I didn't say anything, about the but part. And I really should have. I should have let her have it. But I didn't of course. Grrrr. And I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that even writing this, and knowing that my dad is going to read it, I probably shouldn't even write it, since it means technically I'm talking about her with my dad. But damn it, this is MY life too, and it has affected and upset me, so I have every right to vent about it, I feel.

So I've been stewing about that, and to top it off, it's the beginning of the month. Which means, bills, bills, bills. Now that DH is working fulltime, I had thought we would have some leeway with our finances, but no. I'm so stressed about money. We're still not making ends meet, and that's scary. I'm struggling to find new kids for the daycare, and now the washing machine has something wrong with it, and both cars have issues, and we really have to change our sliding back door before winter. Yikes! Our credit can't handle much more, and I worry about something happening to one of us. So it's all piling up onto me. Of course once I get my brain working, I think about EVERYTHING, so now I'm thinking, great, Xmas is less than three months away, and I had really wanted to get the kids skiing lessons, but that's out of the question now, and so on, and so on.... I even had to tell the kids we couldn't go to the movies this weekend because of lack of funds. It's my birthday tomorrow, and my dad has kindly offered to watch the boys while DH and I go out for dinner, but being the way I am, I'm thinking we had better not go. It's DH's 40th this year, in November, and that's going to pass by without much celebration either. Perhaps I can just get a few friends to come over for one afternoon for some homemade cake and coffee.

Wow, talk about getting off track! So, I'm moping. And I'm probably also freaking out a little that I'm one step closer to forty tomorrow. 
But thanks for "listening". Venting always makes me feel a tiny bit better. And a good cry, ha ha.

The Age Old Problem

Here we are in mid-November already! I can hardly believe it, time flies fast. Of course, Christmas mania has begun already, and as the hype escalates, so does my stress level. It seems like every year I say we have no money, we need to be careful (frugal), we've got to cut back, and I worry and worry about how we will manage. And every year, I look back at the last year and think "Boy, I thought we had no money then! Now we really don't!"
Of course this year is no different. And I feel it's worse than ever, because my daycare numbers have dropped, and the cost of living is getting higher, and my DH is going back to school full time in January, which means no more income coming from him. On top of that, my only full time charge, Kadybug, is going to be going part time in February due to mom having another kid. Good news for when mom goes back to work, but not so great for the interim. To say I'm stressed is an understatement. I think it's part of why I am not sleeping well, and can't get over this damn cold as easily as I usually do. My every thought right now goes to saving money.
"Turn off the lights!"
"Hurry up and close the door, you're letting the heat out!"
"Turn off that water!"
I can't do laundry now, it's "high time".
I've even considered asking all the kids to stop flushing the toilet if it's just a pee, just to save on the water bill. And of course I've vaguely considered getting another job. I just wish there was something I could do from home, on the computer for a couple of hours or three each day. I think I'd be exhausted if I had to go out every evening after working from 7 till 5 at home. Nevermind that I would have to wait until DH got home, so I really couldn't start any kind of shift until 6:30 at the earliest. And I REALLY don't want to work weekends, which is part and parcel of working part time.
So the thing about Christmas, is that I set myself up for a hard act to follow years ago, when R was little, but old enough to understand the whole Santa act. I grew up with having most of my gifts from Santa, and wanted to continue that tradition here. But it's backfiring. What I should have done was to have Santa bring one main toy, the stocking, and that's it. That way, if we are having a lean year (when are we not?), it would be easier to say to the kids that they won't be getting much this year. Now if I were to say it, the answer is, "Why not? I thought Santa brought all the toys anyway?" It also makes it really hard to explain why other kids get less than they do, if they are really underprivileged.
Now R, who is 10, has said to me, "I don't know if I believe in Santa anymore, I can see a lot of things that don't make sense." A part of me died a little when he said that, but you know what? A larger part of me said, "FINALLY!!" He is a smart kid, so I was beginning to wonder when he would put the pieces together. I also don't want him to be the only kid in fifth grade who still believes in Santa Claus (I'm sure he's not, but he is probably in the minority.) So I'm not sure if he's going to ask me for the truth before Christmas, or if he's going to have one last year of childish innocence. I don't want him to grow up too fast, of course not, but it's like I have this secret I can hardly contain. And having them know the truth will make it much easier on me, and I can say, "This year, Mommy and Daddy don't have any money for the bills let alone gifts! much money to spare, so for Christmas you'll just be getting a few small things." As heartbreaking as that sounds, at least it doesn't set them up for disappointment Christmas morning.
Of course, L has started in with the skepticism as well. Although I think that he wants to believe, as much as his devilish little self would love to catch the adults in the act. I want to tell R to shut up when he starts spouting off his statements about the holes in the Santa story, but I also don't want to draw attention to it. If I were to tell him to stop, pull him aside and explain why he needs to keep the faith for his brother, that just makes it all the more obvious to L that something is fishy.
But having them know the truth means that I can watch so many more great Christmas movies with them. They have never seen The Santa Clause, with Tim Allen, because how many times in that movie do the adults tell the poor five-year-old that there is no Santa?? I didn't want them watching that, even though I do like the movie. And I've never shown them the beginning sequence of the Polar Express, when the kid spouts off about how he doesn't believe. And there's Miracle on 34th St., which is another set of adults telling a kid Santa isn't real.
I'm not ready to give up the magic that Santa brings to Christmas. Having that role to play brought me a lot of joy. I really didn't like Christmas very much as a young adult, until the boys were old enough to "get it". I'm scared that I'll just see Christmas as another bother again if there's no magic and wonder anymore. Even now, half the time I wish we just celebrated every other year.

A Little Bummed

I'm finally enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. It seems too good to be true. Perhaps it will turn out to be....
This week has been busier, with the return of the PIMA C and his sister A. (PIMA stands for Pain In My Ass). I've had quite a few kids here, which is good for money but not so much for my nerves. With the PIMA here I have to be constantly on my toes. I have to supervise constantly I've learned, which is really a sad comment because he's almost 10! And it's not because he destroys things, or smokes up in the bathroom, or flashes his privates (THANK GOD!), but he argues and fights with my L and also the other kids (although not as much as with L) and it drives me crazy! He also has a lot of bad language. While that wouldn't bother me so much if it were just my two kids here, but I have little ones here. Little ones that are at the heart and the peak of their language acquisition. They are learning new words and how to express themselves EVERY DAY. It's crazy-fast how they learn to talk once they start. And I really don't want them picking up phrases like, "Suck this!", or "What the hell?!", or "idiot" or "stupid", or "DIE!" or many, many others.
Not only that, but he can't ever seem to step outside of himself and try to just be a little bit selfless. He's just so immature in so many ways. Every year I hope and pray he grows up, but he never seems to. I'm sorry to say this about a child, but that kid is going to be an asshole when he grows up. I can just tell right now.
And my sister has told me a million times to get rid of him. But I can't because I'm a wimp, and really not enough of a bitch to do that. I have to see his mother in the neighbourhood. His mom is really nice too. She has done me favours when I was in a crunch before. And I really don't want to jeopardize that. I will be speaking to her about his language tonight though. He has been away from here for almost a month, so perhaps he needs her to remind him about appropriate language for toddlers' ears.
So I am trying to count my blessings that I have kids here and the fact that I am getting paid at least. But I am stressed and worried. And jealous.
I'm stressed because I'm not making enough money. I thought that with the fact that DH has been working now for a few months (he returns to school fulltime in Dec)that we would be able to at least break even each month, if not even get to paying down some more debt.
Not so much. The fact that I don't have a whole bunch of kids is really hurting me. I've just paid some bills and pretty much used up the rest of the reserve we had for times such as these. Which totally freaks me out thinking about how I no longer have that cushion. AHHH!
I am worried too because I've been trying to get some more kids for daycare for the fall, and have had basically no bites. It's scary. Where are all the parents going back to work? What am I going to do when DH goes back to school in January and is out of work once again? If I have even less kids then, I am screwed. So you see how I can't get rid of kids that are annoying. I just can't afford it.
And I am jealous because of all these people that are on vacation. They have time off work, and families are doing things together and going places and having fun. I do get time off work, although unlike the general population, I don't get vacation pay, which kind of puts a damper on it.
No work, no pay.
And DH doesn't get any time off work either. His time off is during the school year, when they have "reading week", which never coincides nicely with any time the kids have off or what I can take off.
I guess I shouldn't complain, because we did just have a family vacation in Disney. But that already seems so far away.
Next week I have sort of a vacation week. Sort of. It's not because I took time off, but it's just that so many of the kids I watch are on vacation that week, plus schedules work out that other kids are here less. Plus I still have a kid coming here on Friday, and possibly two on Wed. So not exactly a week off. I'm screwed for money next week. I'm going to have to raid the freezer and do some serious meal planning revolving around what we have available. It's difficult, but doable.
Alright. Now I've moaned and complained enough, about the same old, same old. I should be glad that we have a home, health, and food on our table.
I just needed to get it off my chest ;)

Stressed!

I am so stressed out, I can't help it. I'm trying not to be, I'm trying not to see the negative and look for the positive, but it's not working and I'm failing miserably. Every day that the trip looms closer, my blood pressure goes up in direct relation. And what, exactly, is the problem you may ask?
Money.
What else but money? It's my stressor extrordinaire . Of course, I'm thinking about a million other things at the same time, and that isn't helping.
Like, how L developed a screaming ear infection on the weekend like no other he's had before, and just when I thought we were all on the mend. So now I'm stressed that all the fluid trapped in there won't be cleared out by the time we have to board a plane, especially since I asked the walk-in dr. guy if he was going to be alright to get on a plane in ten days and he just shrugged his shoulders.
What if we go get L's ear checked next week and the doctor says he'll be in extreme pain if we try to fly? How do
I crush my whole family's hearts by telling them we can't go on the trip of our lifetime ( so far, anyway)? What if he looks ok at the doctor's but upon descent the poor kid is in screaming agony?? I could barely stand listening to him crying for two solid hours on Sunday. I don't think my heart could take it knowing how much pain he would be in.
And then there is the constant running list of things to do/buy/pack before we go, running through my mind like endless movie credits on a screen. And yes, I've made lists but it doesn't help. Because even when I make lists for shopping, I always still seem to miss items. So I'm afraid I'll forget something.
Of course I'm worried about things I can't control, like the weather, and someone getting sick.
Sickness. That's a HUGE one, as you probably know.
And the weather, well, I'm just being a complainer I know, but it's bothering me that every time I look up the long term forecast for Orlando it says the week we're there is slightly colder and rainier than it has been there for the past month! Why? Why OUR week?
And back to the money.
God I hate money. I'm still worried that we're going to end up spending more money than we have (which is basically anything over a dollar) on food, even though we were told that we wouldn't have to. I mean, it kind of goes against the grain really, being that dependent on someone else. It's not like I'm 14 and telling my parents I'm hungry and can I have some money for a snack. We can't do that. It'll be too weird. And what if we split up most days, and end up on our own (sans grandma) for lunch? As if we're going to say, "Ok, we'll meet you back here at say, 4:00, and by the way, we'll need $40 for lunch please." Do you see where I'm going with this? Each day will still cost us money for food.
So I'm now thinking about that, and trying to plan grocery shopping when we get there so we can pack lunches and stuff. And then my mind starts me thinking about packing containers, ziploc baggies, etc, and here we go with the mind credits again.
I was sitting and trying to pay some bills online, when I opened our gas bill and it's over $400!!
WHAT?!?!?!
Upon closer inspection, and I still have yet to verify this, it appears that we didn't have a bill last month and that this is a bill for two months a la Powerstream (our hydro). So now they've adopted this awful awful plan of billing us only every two months so that I can have a small MCI every time I open a bill.
Fun.
But how did I miss that? I don't remember reading anything telling me they were doing this now. And why did I not notice the fact that we didn't have an Enbridge bill last month?
Oh yeah, because I was too busy hyperventilating over taxes, which we still haven't filed. And being stressed about an upcoming trip.
To top it all off, I'm basically a single mom these days due to the fact that DH is busy busy with studying for exams and schoolwork and stuff.
What stuff? I don't know.
I just know that if the roles were reversed and I was the one in school, I would still be having to do all the cooking and laundry and cleaning.
Just sayin'.

Stressed

Lately I've been feeling rather stressed. There are quite a few reasons why this is, and for most people they probably don't think that my problems are really all that bad. But I don't think I handle stress very well. It's probably because I don't have to deal with any large amount of it on a daily basis, as say, a commuter would, or a doctor would, or a single mom working two jobs would. So I'm out of practice.
But lately I haven't been well. I'm not sleeping well, tossing and turning and dreaming troubling dreams. I've also been having stomach issues, and feeling really tired. And of course my patience is thin. Then there is the really annoying symptom of not being able to take a satisfying deep breath. I know, weird right? I am breathing, and I can once in a while get in a deep breath that is satisfying, but usually it's through yawning. I've googled it a lot, and there seems to be a lot of people out there with this same problem, but with no true answers to this problem. I've had this issue before, many times throughout my life, even as a kid. It usually resolves in a week or two, but damn it's annoying until then. And I think L has inherited this issue. He complained about it last fall for a few weeks. My mom also struggles with it.
ANYWAY...
My stress is from a few things. First, are my computer issues. I don't necessarily need my computer on a daily basis, I can use my iPod touch for my socializing. But I do need it! It has all my iTunes stuff, plus files for daycare, and tax stuff. That's really important right now! And I really can't afford a new one.
Then there's the age-old problem of money. That one never goes away. But it leads to the trip.
Yeah, I'm stressed about that.
Stupid?
Maybe. But I'm not one lucky enough to go on vacations much. The only other real family vacation we've had was six years ago, to New Brunswick. Before that, was our honeymoon ten years ago, and other than that it's just been weekend trips to Niagara and various other Ontario cities. I guess I'm just worried about things going wrong, like missing our flight, someone getting sick (that's a BIG one), luggage being lost, plane crashing, the kids being sick on the plane or suffering with their ears, not being ready, DH getting a hard time going through customs, bad weather, the condo sucking, getting food poisoning...etc., etc., etc...
I know, I'm borrowing trouble. But I've been dreaming about this damn trip, and they're troubling, stressful dreams, not good ones. I wake up and I don't want to go back to sleep.
Then of course there's the money side. Even though the trip is being paid for, we still need money for souvenirs and incidentals. And food, some, I'm sure. And definitely there's the loss of income. I don't get paid for a week, and then the next week, as I've found out since booking the trip (I know, the parents I "work for" SUCK for never giving me enough notice!!) two of the families I care for are off themselves!! (If I'd known, like, a week or two sooner I could have made the trip the same week!) So, it's not like I'll be making up for the time off at all. Thank god DH will be starting work soon after.
And DH and I are arguing. I won't bore you with all the details, but in the end he came to me and in a roundabout way offered me an apology, but expected one back! There wasn't anything I'd felt I'd done wrong! If I felt bad for something, I'd apologize, but I didn't. So he's mad at me for that. He said HE was the one ALWAYS apologizing. While that is certainly not true,as he rarely apologizes sincerely for anything, he thinks that when we have an argument that we're both to blame. WHATEVER! Sorry guy (there's your apology!) but YOU are the one that does things wrong, not me! Haven't you learned by now, the woman is ALWAYS right?? I know that's cliche, but in this case it's right. My life really doesn't vary that much day-to-day. There isn't much I could do that was wrong and would piss him off. Really! So when he does shit to piss me off, he always gets mad back at me, instead of being contrite. There's no way I should apologize because HE can't take criticism or accept his mistakes and reacts the wrong way. Sheesh.
So, I'm stressed. And griping to anyone who will read this tripe does make me feel a little better. Although, winning the lottery and taking a nice vacation at a spa retreat ON MY OWN would make me feel much better!

Sent from my iPod

Money Issues, It Never Ends

The schools never fail to astound/piss me off.
This week alone I've been hit up for
1) $15 for a field trip to a conservation area (that costs $2 to go to, I looked it up online)
2) $8 for "scientists in the classroom" (which I'm sure costs money but really, the kids aren't going anywhere and $8 times about 70 or so kids...) and
3) just over $80 for pizza orders to top it off.
Ok, I get the pizza thing, it's a fundraiser for the school, so they have to charge a lot a little more than what the pizza's worth in order to make money for the school, and the kids love it (parents too, since we get a day off making sandwiches). But what is the purpose of fundraisers if the school isn't using the money to help subsidize field trips? At $15 a pop for a field trip to a conservation area that's approximately 17 kms away, you can't tell me that the school is helping out with that? There are two full grade two classes going, plus two other grade two classes that are split (not sure what the ratio is there, but probably more than enough kids to make at least one more full class). So if you take $15 and multiply that by just over 60 kids, that's $900! Ok, I really have no idea how much it cost to rent a bus for the day, but I'm pretty sure they could have made it more cost effective for the parents.
Unfortunately, we live in a more affluent neighbourhood. Well, not unfortunately, we're blessed that way, but unfortunately to this situation. Unlike my household, I would say at least half the school has one parent that stays home all day. And that's at home, without working from home, or working night shifts. At least it seems that way to me.
The other half are doing pretty well. Both parents work, and make good money. There aren't any visible poverty cases here, and you just need to drive around the neighbourhood and look at the houses to see that. You never cease to hear about this family's trip to ______(insert tropical destination here, including other continents), or that family's newest addition/renovation/car.
So the school administration feels comfortable knowing that if they up the prices of field trips/milk/pizza (yeah, milk is now $0.85 per carton; I DO NOT buy it, sorry) that the parents can afford it and will pay it without complaint.
Of course I paid it, but I moaned and complained (to my husband and anyone else that would listen) and cringed as I fetched my purse and a small ziploc bag for the kids to put the money in. I just can't help feeling gouged. $15 will feed my family a really good dinner, and have leftovers for lunch too. And when your husband is making very little money (he tutors at school but that's only a small contribution) and actually spending a lot more money than he is making by attending college full time, and you aren't exactly making the big bucks yourself but still work 10 hours/day without breaks, you have a hard time parting with that money.
So as my little silent protest I sent the kids money in (not the pizza money) in change. All loonies, some twoonies, quarters, dimes and nickels.
Take that school!

Random Stuff

Wow, today is cold! We went from about -1 or -2 yesterday, to a very chilling -25 + a windchill this morning! BRRRRR....At least now it's sunny.

I really have no idea what to post here today. I wanted to write something originally about the Christina Aguilera epic fail, and I know that's been done but here it is anyway. At first I was appalled and shocked that someone could mess up so badly singing their country's most precious song. I mean, if you have been honored with singing your country's national anthem at your country's most watched and biggest sporting event of the year, you'd think you would want to do the very best you could. As a very patriotic Canadian, I would be horrified if one of my fellow Canadians did the same thing. I know our anthem has been messed up, but it's usually by American singers, and if they can mess up their own song, then...

But as I went onto Youtube and typed in "Christina Aguilera national anthem", I got not only the Superbowl, but other videos of her singing to open other events. And on those ones she did just fine. I just think the poor girl probably got so nervous that she messed up. Who wouldn't be nervous? You're singing in front of MILLIONS of people. But the look on those faces of the soldiers that were there. You could tell what they were thinking.

One week until Valentine's Day. Honestly, I could care less. I've never had much love for this Hallmark holiday. I think it's fun for the kids, and gives me a theme to work with during the boring dull days of February, but ever since I got too old to pass out Valentine cards, I pretty much hated it. In high school, it was just another "rub it in my face" thing proving once again how unpopular I was. Don't get me wrong, I had great friends, I just wasn't popular with boys at all. And they always did these stupid secret Valentine things, where for a week or so before the holiday you could purchase a rose, or candy or something, and have it sent to the chosen person for $0.50 or $1 or something. You could leave it anonymous, which a lot of people did. I'm sure I sent some out, but I don't ever remember receiving any. The day would come, and those cursed messengers would come around to the classroom to deliver the goods. And I would hope and hope that they would call my name, but they never did. Or if they did it would be something from a girlfriend. Not what I was hoping for.

Post-high school it didn't matter to me either. Well, one year I got dumped on Valentine's Day, so that pretty much killed any hope for the holiday I ever had. When I finally got a boyfriend that could and would dote on me and make Valentine's Day what it was supposed to be, it was nothing special. The guy was so good to me ALL the days of the year that it was nothing new. (Why did I break up with him again???LOL)

Now it's more about money, I mean the fact that we don't really celebrate. I despise spending $5 on a piece of paper to tell the person I married that I love him. Really? I do it anyway, if I have time to find a card, because I feel bad to be empty-handed that day, but I don't like it. And I'd love for us to have a romantic weekend away, but I can't afford that. And trying to organize a babysitter and go out for dinner...more money and more hassle. I would like to do those things regardless of the calendar date, the fact that it says Feb 14 is irrelevant to me.

Ha ha, I googled anti-Valentine's Day images, and I like this one the best. There were other funny ones, but I didn't want to get carried away. I don't HATE Valentine's Day, I just don't look forward to it. I like it for the kids. And for the candy they bring home!

Money

I am upping my daycare fees as of July 1. I wrote the letter today, having finally finished my taxes and seeing not only the steady increase of the cost of fuel, electricity and food, but also my dire need to actually accrue more money.
I am nervous about how the parents will take it. This is only the second time in my 8 years of doing this that I have increased my fees. I think I put myself in the parents' shoes too much. I start to feel badly for them, having to already pay so much for daycare, and then to have that increased. But I have to stop being a softy, because as we all know, I ain't doin' this for the pure pleasure of it! It's a business, my family's livelihood, my income, and my job, not my hobby.
So we'll see.
Money, money, money. Don't you just hate it sometimes? Wouldn't it be nice to go back to the old days of working hard and bartering? I'll give you this, if you do that. That doesn't fly with the banks though, does it?
We are supposedly getting a fairly nice tax return this year. What I'd really like to do with it is put it towards a nice vacation. I'd really, REALLY love to take the boys to Disney. I went as a child, DH did too, and it feels somewhat unfair that my kids won't ever get to go. At least not while the magic of youth is still with them. Not before they become too old for that sort of thing, or they think it's dumb or cheesey. It's just so expensive though! Why can't they do a discount week or something? I think everyone should get to go to Disney once during their younger years, despite income. I could fund maybe one third of what we'd need. That's just not enough. And I find it extremely difficult to sit on money and wait, as in, SAVE.
Sigh.
Sigh again.
But saving the money isn't really even an option. Our dog is sick. Well, dying really. He has a bad heart, and of course the vets want to make as much money as possible out of us and want him on all these heart meds and stuff. DH went to pick up the first two weeks worth today. Guess how much they were.
Go on, take a guess.
If you guess right, you win a trip to Disney.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, not really.
Ok, are you ready?
$140!! (That's Canadian, people.)
WTF? Do they honestly friggin think that I am going to pay $300/month for meds for a dog???!!
DH loves that dog so much. I'm sorry, but I don't love him that much. You can put a price on love. And that is too expensive. I'll let the first two weeks go, for the sake of DH, but after that, I'm sorry, but no.
Would you give up a vacation to keep your elderly dog (possibly) alive for a few more months, or a year?
I think I am rambling here. I know I am. I'm really tired, and it's pretty late. So, I will go now and leave you with my thoughts.

The initial examination:
$69.30 (Wish I made that much for 15 mins of work.)
The tests and bogus costs for a few hours of "boarding" (sheesh):
$506.57
Two weeks worth of meds that may or may not keep your dog alive for an unknown amount of time: (Do these vets actually know anything besides how to make money?)
$139.08
The look on your kids' faces when you tell them their dog is dying, you don't know when and they have to give up their dream of going to Disney anytime soon because of it,
Priceless (but not in a good way.)
For everything else, there's Mastercard. Oh, wait. That's already maxed out.
Damn.

Random Rambles

I just felt like writing something today, but I don't have any one specific thing to talk about. So here are a few random, unrelated things.

Isn't the weather beautiful? Here in Ontario it has been sunny, warm(ish) (around 9 or 10C) and the snow is melting!! God I could live outside right now. This weather makes me feel so upbeat and positive. Only I'm not outside right now, which is sad. But I will take the kids back outside soon. It still involves much dressing, but, oh well it's worth it for some fresh air. This weather also makes me want to go out shopping and spend money for some reason. Which leads to my next random thought...

I am low on kids this week. Which doesn't do anything good for my paycheque. Sigh.

My sister is maybe coming over today. I don't want to get too excited, in case things don't go her way this morning with baby A, my new niece. I fully remember the planning and undertaking trying to get out the door to go somewhere for the day with a newborn! So I won't hold my breath, but I really really hope she can make it!

Despite my good mood about the weather, I am sooooooo tired today! Ok, I hate listening to people who complain a lot about how tired they are, so I consciously try not to do it too often, especially now that I really have no more excuses to be tired! I no longer have kids that get me up in the night (unless they have a bad dream or are sick), and I am a mature adult who knows what time I need to go to bed to be well rested for my 6:00 a.m. alarm. So I really have no idea why I am feeling this lethargic and sleepy. It could be because my Aunt is here, or perhaps it's the crappy diet I've been consuming lately...

Last night I attempted to make homemade fish fry (you know, like fish&chips). I used frozen tilapia, which I've never tried before, and Bisquick mix with some beer added. I floured the fish first, then dipped it into the (pancake, basically) batter and fried it in about a half inch of oil. And then, because I'm totally paranoid all the time about undercooked meat, I put it in the oven for a few minutes with the totally disgusting homemade sweet potato fries, as well as some store-bought french fries. This was topped off with some frozen corn.
Well, the fish was just ok. The kids didn't like it too much, and L is usually good with fish & chips. I think it was the fish mostly. I won't use tilapia again. They had the regular french fries, and I had some of the sweet potato ones, trying to be more health conscious even though I really don't care for sweet potatoes. They weren't very good. And corn is just corn. The only one that enjoyed the meal was DH, so the boys and I ate some, and then topped ourselves up with ice cream bars. I know, real healthy!