With the start of school now here, I've been reading a lot of articles and comments and postings about school lunches. One article asked the question, "How Far Does Your School Take Banning Food?", and there were many comments after it. I read through most of them, and began to comment with my own opinion, but stopped when it was getting too lengthy and also too opinionated. I figured a better place for that would be here, since I feel this is my blog, and you can agree or disagree with me, but if you don't like it, too bad! Ha ha.
So here we go.
I think some schools are getting too crazy with banning foods. Not ours, thank goodness, although we do have nuts banned as most schools do. I can understand the peanut thing. They have a strong odor, and peanut butter is easily spread around from your fingers to door knobs, tables, chairs, etc. However, that's about all I can agree on. As it stands, neither of my children have a life-threatening food allergy. So no, I can't completely understand the fear a parent has sending their kid off to school where they may come into contact with the allergen. But that's life, isn't it? We have to teach our kids to protect themselves from anything dangerous. We teach them to cross the road safely, we don't shelter them from that. We don't tell them to never cross a road just in case. We teach them to wear a helmet when riding a bike. We don't shelter them by never letting them have one. We teach out children stranger-danger, and eventually let them out on their own. Life has risks, but we teach them how to minimize the risks, and how to deal with them in the best way. Shouldn't parents be teaching their child to wash their hands more, never accept food not packed from home, to always question if it's safe, to keep fingers and objects out of their mouths?
Why is it that a school expects EVERYONE ELSE to change their eating habits to accommodate one or two people in the school? Would we expect a classroom to stop using their eyes to accommodate a blind person's learning style? Or would we expect the curriculum to be limited to only what the student with learning disabilities can learn? Of course not!
I hear so often that children of this generation are growing up feeling entitled to everything. This feeds right into that. Because one child may have a severe milk allergy, doesn't mean the whole class, or school, should stop bringing milk products. This child could grow up thinking everyone else should go out of their way to accommodate him or her. And that's just not the way the world works, unless you're royalty or something.
I had a Facebook friend comment that her child was now not allowed to bring mushrooms, or anything that may have come into contact with mushrooms to accommodate a teacher! I was shocked. Now, I'm not criticizing her acceptance of the rule, but had it been me, I would have been LIVID! Of course, like many children, my kids won't eat mushrooms. The chance that they would bring something to school containing mushrooms would be infinitesimal. But her list of banned foods (which she said was extensive) included pizza and pasta, two things her picky child would eat. I just don't understand the logic in including things that "may contain" or "may have been in contact with". First, the chance that the food did contain a trace amount is small. Like the pizza. A pepperoni pizza may have been cut up with the same pizza cutter that cut up a previous pizza containing mushrooms. So that little tiny piece of mushroom had to get on the slice that you happen to send your child to school with. And then, that piece of tiny mushroom has to not only fall off, but also somehow find its way into the allergic teacher's system! It is ridiculous!
I never got to ask her if that included homemade pizza with homemade sauce, or likewise the pasta. But I was appalled for her, really. I struggle every day with what to make for my own two picky kids. To have someone tell them they can't have their favourite foods would be awful.
Which brings me to the second part of this rant. I also saw comments on this posed question about not just allergens, but about some schools banning junk food. And not just junk food. Some schools are banning ANY packaged foods! Some are even going so far as to ban juice!
Ever hear the expression, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? I think that fits well here. I get that the schools are trying to teach kids about healthy eating. I get that they are trying to help fight childhood obesity. But it's not going to work that way. You can take out junk food vending machines, which, by the way, I think is a good idea. (Kids could bring their own pocket money to school and buy junk without the parents knowing [like mine probably would, especially L]). But if you tell parents that they are NOT ALLOWED to send their kids some treats, then you are taking away their right to parent. Even if parents are not packing their kids' lunches, they are still the ones buying the food that goes into them, are they not? I like that the schools want to promote healthy choices. I like that they encourage the kids (in Kindergarten at least) to eat the healthiest items first. But I would have a big problem with someone telling me that I wasn't allowed to send anything with sugar in it. That's my choice, and my right.
Ok, it's not my right to poison my kids, to feed them whatever I want. I wouldn't feed them sugar and fat all the time, that's neglect. But everything within reason, right?
My L is picky. I have the hardest time trying to pack his lunch. Some days, he comes home with most of it uneaten, except for the treat (despite the 1003 times I've told him to eat it last!) and his juice box. And he suffers for it. We all do, actually, because his mood is terrible! But whether or not I had included that treat, he would be in the same boat. So I'm thankful for the calories that he has ingested, however undesirable they may be on the nutrition scale.
So these schools can try all they want to make parents send healthier things. But that doesn't mean that A) the kids will eat it, like my L, or B) that they just don't go home and eat a bowl of Sugar Krisp for dinner. It sounds a lot like a dictatorship to me! And the more you ban things, the more desirable they become. They should focus more on teaching them how their bodies react to certain things, what each nutrient does for the body, and go back to teaching them how to cook!!
Ok, that's my rant, ha ha. Like I said, I'm very glad the restrictions at my boys' school aren't stringent. And if they were, at least I'd have the luxury of having them come home for lunch.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Awake
Sorry it's been so long....again. I'm lying here awake for some unknown reason. I was asleep, only barely, but now it's 12:40 and I'm awake. I hate that. Hope I'm not getting sick, which is usually a reason for wakefulness for me.
Anyhow, I was reading my last posting since today the issue of report cards came up. DH and I were discussing the boys' reports because my MIL had called and wanted to know their marks. Immediately my spidey senses went up. (I was listening to his side of the conversation). I have had an issue with MIL in previous years, rewarding my children for their A's and accomplishments.She snuck it in without me knowing she was doing it. And I don't like that. Not at all.
Firstly, that's OUR job, not hers. I get that she wants to spoil her grand kids, so spoil them already, but don't make it about marks!
Secondly, I really have a problem with rewarding my children for marks. I think the marks should be rewards within themselves. They should feel a sense of pride when they see that A, or B, or whatever they're striving for. I want them to want it for themselves, not because they're being paid off.
Thirdly, it's unfair. R gets far better marks than L. Without even trying. Teachers love R, and let's face it, liking your kid can sometimes make a B a B+, or similar. L, I'm not sure. I don't think he's one of those kids teachers dread having, but he's just another kid. It's just his personality. He can't help it. So according to DH, MIL was going to give them $50 for passing (isn't that enough?!) and then $20 for each A.
WHAT?!
Why wasn't I a party to this agreement? I went and looked at the reports, added it up, and that would leave R with $430! And his brother with $70. How would that be fair? L can't really achieve A's, although he did get one in Drama I think. After DH talked to MIL, she amended that to B's. Still, L got quite a few C's on his report, many of which I'm convinced should have been B's anyway. How is it fair that L got a crappy teacher, and who possibly gave him C's out of her dislike for him and his parents?
So I told DH to explain it to her. And to also say that L doesn't exactly go in for bribes that way. He hates school. No amount of paying him off is going to make him work harder either. Besides, the reward is far too long term for him. Plus, if he saw his brother get all that money, that would just make him quit. He definitely wouldn't try at that point.
So he did explain some of that, but ever-protective of his family's feelings that he is, he allowed her to still give them something, and some money towards their chosen activity/sport. At least that's what DH explained to me, but it all seemed somewhat confusing to me. He kept backtracking, so I'm wondering how much he's trying to put past me in the end. I don't think he is fully in agreement with me. He said his mother understood, but was hurt and disappointed.
Hurt? Why would she be hurt? Does she think we're saying this to her because we are out to get her? I don't get it. Then DH got all defensive of his mom, of course, and I held my tongue so as not to start an argument.
Same old story. He sides with his family and I can't even reason with him. Sigh.
Anyway, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on this situation. And now, time to try to sleep again.
Anyhow, I was reading my last posting since today the issue of report cards came up. DH and I were discussing the boys' reports because my MIL had called and wanted to know their marks. Immediately my spidey senses went up. (I was listening to his side of the conversation). I have had an issue with MIL in previous years, rewarding my children for their A's and accomplishments.She snuck it in without me knowing she was doing it. And I don't like that. Not at all.
Firstly, that's OUR job, not hers. I get that she wants to spoil her grand kids, so spoil them already, but don't make it about marks!
Secondly, I really have a problem with rewarding my children for marks. I think the marks should be rewards within themselves. They should feel a sense of pride when they see that A, or B, or whatever they're striving for. I want them to want it for themselves, not because they're being paid off.
Thirdly, it's unfair. R gets far better marks than L. Without even trying. Teachers love R, and let's face it, liking your kid can sometimes make a B a B+, or similar. L, I'm not sure. I don't think he's one of those kids teachers dread having, but he's just another kid. It's just his personality. He can't help it. So according to DH, MIL was going to give them $50 for passing (isn't that enough?!) and then $20 for each A.
WHAT?!
Why wasn't I a party to this agreement? I went and looked at the reports, added it up, and that would leave R with $430! And his brother with $70. How would that be fair? L can't really achieve A's, although he did get one in Drama I think. After DH talked to MIL, she amended that to B's. Still, L got quite a few C's on his report, many of which I'm convinced should have been B's anyway. How is it fair that L got a crappy teacher, and who possibly gave him C's out of her dislike for him and his parents?
So I told DH to explain it to her. And to also say that L doesn't exactly go in for bribes that way. He hates school. No amount of paying him off is going to make him work harder either. Besides, the reward is far too long term for him. Plus, if he saw his brother get all that money, that would just make him quit. He definitely wouldn't try at that point.
So he did explain some of that, but ever-protective of his family's feelings that he is, he allowed her to still give them something, and some money towards their chosen activity/sport. At least that's what DH explained to me, but it all seemed somewhat confusing to me. He kept backtracking, so I'm wondering how much he's trying to put past me in the end. I don't think he is fully in agreement with me. He said his mother understood, but was hurt and disappointed.
Hurt? Why would she be hurt? Does she think we're saying this to her because we are out to get her? I don't get it. Then DH got all defensive of his mom, of course, and I held my tongue so as not to start an argument.
Same old story. He sides with his family and I can't even reason with him. Sigh.
Anyway, I'll be keeping a watchful eye on this situation. And now, time to try to sleep again.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Report Card Time
The boys both got their report cards today. I kind of hate report card time, at any time of the year. I have one who excels in school, without really even trying, and the other who just gets by. I'm sure from previous posts you can guess which is which. It's not that I'm not proud of my kids, but...... I'm way more proud of one than the other.
There, I said it. I feel terrible for even thinking that. It doesn't mean I love one more than the other, because I don't, but looking at a report card filled with A's and then looking at another report card filled with C's is like thinking you've just won the lottery, and then finding out you're holding last week's ticket.
I really struggle with this. I want to praise R, tell him how amazing he is and how happy I am with him, but I don't want to hurt L. I know L can't achieve A's right now. But I'm fairly sure he could achieve some more B's if he put a bit more effort into it. But he really hates school. I fight with him on school issues all year long. To chastise him over a not-so-stellar report card at this time of year, well, I kind of feel like its beating a dead horse. And I definitely feel that if I sing the praises of his brother too loudly, that he'll become more defiant, more rejecting of school. He's not the type to take that as a challenge to do better. It would have the opposite effect on him.
But back to R. It's not fair that he's put in the effort, the hard work and isn't receiving his just rewards either. I did tell him at bedtime that I was so proud of him, that I was very pleased with his report card but I didn't want to make his brother feel bad. Maybe that's not even fair to him either. Why should we be hush hush about how great he is doing, just because his brother isn't?
It goes without saying at this point that I'm disappointed in L's report card. And I don't know who to be mad at. Him, for not trying harder? Me, or his dad, for not making him try harder, for not instilling a better attitude towards school? (And BTW, If anyone knows how to do that, email me to give me step by step instructions!)Or his teacher? He had a different one halfway through the year,due to the first one having a baby.( I mean really, of all the nerve, having a baby in the middle of the school year! LOL.)The first teacher likely gave out many of his marks on the second term report. The third term report, this latest one, almost ALL his marks went down! Seriously? Some stayed the same, and one, only one, went up by a grade and that was drama or something I don't care about. I couldn't believe it. Was he doing THAT poorly? Or was the first teacher's assessment that skewed? Or is this teacher just a bitch who really knows nothing about my son? I'd have to think some of that last statement is true. I know he's way better than what she says he is in math, or science. And how in the HELL did he go from an A+ in Social Studies, to a C+ in one term?
Part of me wants to march into that school tomorrow and demand answers. And you're probably thinking I should. But part of me says, who cares? I know what he's capable of, and who looks at grade three marks in the long run anyway? Plus, I don't like his teacher at all,I've never respected her since he had her in kindergarten, and I don't believe much of what comes out of her mouth! So why bother? She'd just patronize me, and stand there with that stupid smile on her face. Plus, the year is over. Time to start fresh next year.
Oh, and BTW, I had L's meeting, and all my worries were for nought. He's getting a good strong teacher next year. She's an older teacher, and R had her in second grade. She knows what she's doing. Plus, she's strict, and won't stand for any monkey-business, which is good for my monkey! Well, he doesn't think so, but it's a good thing he's a little concerned that she's stern (or "mean" as he would put it). I do remember thinking that she was quite harsh when R was in her class, but she's the type of teacher that starts the year off being very strict to get everyone in line, then she eases off a bit.
So he's not getting the teacher I wanted exactly,but for once, he's getting a decent one. Better late than never, I guess. Plus, he found out as well one of his best buddies is going to be in that class with him! He's happy about that!
There, I said it. I feel terrible for even thinking that. It doesn't mean I love one more than the other, because I don't, but looking at a report card filled with A's and then looking at another report card filled with C's is like thinking you've just won the lottery, and then finding out you're holding last week's ticket.
I really struggle with this. I want to praise R, tell him how amazing he is and how happy I am with him, but I don't want to hurt L. I know L can't achieve A's right now. But I'm fairly sure he could achieve some more B's if he put a bit more effort into it. But he really hates school. I fight with him on school issues all year long. To chastise him over a not-so-stellar report card at this time of year, well, I kind of feel like its beating a dead horse. And I definitely feel that if I sing the praises of his brother too loudly, that he'll become more defiant, more rejecting of school. He's not the type to take that as a challenge to do better. It would have the opposite effect on him.
But back to R. It's not fair that he's put in the effort, the hard work and isn't receiving his just rewards either. I did tell him at bedtime that I was so proud of him, that I was very pleased with his report card but I didn't want to make his brother feel bad. Maybe that's not even fair to him either. Why should we be hush hush about how great he is doing, just because his brother isn't?
It goes without saying at this point that I'm disappointed in L's report card. And I don't know who to be mad at. Him, for not trying harder? Me, or his dad, for not making him try harder, for not instilling a better attitude towards school? (And BTW, If anyone knows how to do that, email me to give me step by step instructions!)Or his teacher? He had a different one halfway through the year,due to the first one having a baby.( I mean really, of all the nerve, having a baby in the middle of the school year! LOL.)The first teacher likely gave out many of his marks on the second term report. The third term report, this latest one, almost ALL his marks went down! Seriously? Some stayed the same, and one, only one, went up by a grade and that was drama or something I don't care about. I couldn't believe it. Was he doing THAT poorly? Or was the first teacher's assessment that skewed? Or is this teacher just a bitch who really knows nothing about my son? I'd have to think some of that last statement is true. I know he's way better than what she says he is in math, or science. And how in the HELL did he go from an A+ in Social Studies, to a C+ in one term?
Part of me wants to march into that school tomorrow and demand answers. And you're probably thinking I should. But part of me says, who cares? I know what he's capable of, and who looks at grade three marks in the long run anyway? Plus, I don't like his teacher at all,I've never respected her since he had her in kindergarten, and I don't believe much of what comes out of her mouth! So why bother? She'd just patronize me, and stand there with that stupid smile on her face. Plus, the year is over. Time to start fresh next year.
Oh, and BTW, I had L's meeting, and all my worries were for nought. He's getting a good strong teacher next year. She's an older teacher, and R had her in second grade. She knows what she's doing. Plus, she's strict, and won't stand for any monkey-business, which is good for my monkey! Well, he doesn't think so, but it's a good thing he's a little concerned that she's stern (or "mean" as he would put it). I do remember thinking that she was quite harsh when R was in her class, but she's the type of teacher that starts the year off being very strict to get everyone in line, then she eases off a bit.
So he's not getting the teacher I wanted exactly,but for once, he's getting a decent one. Better late than never, I guess. Plus, he found out as well one of his best buddies is going to be in that class with him! He's happy about that!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Update, If Anyone Is Still There
Wow. I havent posted for a loooonngg time! So here's an update on my life:
Endometriosis-
I went to see a specialist in the field of gynecology, apparently the best in the province. I was pleased to hear that I don't need surgery at this time, and that I should stick with the medication. Ok, 99% pleased. 1% disappointed. Is that weird? I think it's the whole "someone else taking care of ME for once" thing that I was looking forward to. Not the pain, or the surgery, or the loss of my woman-hood. I guess it's just nice to get looked after. Oh, and the fun drugs are a plus as well.
Anyhow, I'm sticking with a medication called Visanne, for now. I've been on it for three months now, and my body has now adjusted to it. At first, I had bleeding/spotting that went on for over two weeks. That was annoying. Then there was the constipation. Nice. But my body seems to have adjusted to it and moved on for now, and I haven't had any bleeding or period for at least six weeks. Nice! The constipation part seems to be over too, thank god, and I've had no pain now due to the endo so it's doing it's job. The dr said I could be on it for ten more years or so. When I hit menopause age, that's when I'll likely have to have surgery. Unless it gets worse between now and then. He was also nice enough to give me three more months' worth for free (samples). That's great because we have one income and no drug plan.
L-
L seems to be doing well lately. I attribute this to a few things. One, DH has been around a LOT more because he's in school, and this semester that's only three days a week. Two, it's summer, and who can feel down when the weather is so much nicer? (Ok, I know depression doesn't care what time of year it is, but I mean feeling low, as opposed to depressed). And three, school is almost over, with the prospect of eight weeks filled without homework or teachers. I have a meeting this coming week (Tues) with the principal to discuss L's placement next year. I mean, what class he'll be in. I feel a little sick about this and I'll tell you why: it's because I know I'm going to be disappointed and upset with the class he'll be in. And no, I don't know which one it is yet, but this is just the pattern with him. I don't know what it is, but aside from his first school year (in which he had the most AMAZING TEACHER EVER!), every year after he has got the royal shaft.
Screwed over.
Every year.
Every September I think "this year will be better, this year he can't possibly have bad luck again. This year, he'll get the teacher I want, or the next best one. His luck has GOT to CHANGE!"
But it doesn't. And now, I don't have any hope. Because even though in May, when DH and I sat down with the principal and his teacher and had a frank heart-to-heart about all our concerns and how they could help, even though the principal assured me that things would be ok for next Sept, even though he told me we'd talk about his teacher at the end of this school year, I STILL don't believe he'll get a good teacher for once. And I'll tell you why.
I know of two grade four teachers right now. There were only two gr. 4 classes this year. The one teacher, Mrs. G, is fantastic. R had her. I LOVE her! The other, Mrs. M, every other parent I've talked to hates her. She's useless.
Next sept, there has to be at least three gr.4 classes. There are four gr.3 classes now. So that means, another teacher. Who? I have no idea. I know some of the "floater" teachers in the school. Ones they call LTOs (long term occasional)and tend to teach a different grade every year. But one is moving down to K next year (the good one of course) and the other is one L has right now. For the second time in his school career. The worst thing is, is that I heard Mrs.G is not going to be teaching gr.4 next year, that she's moving down to primary. That really upset me. Because I had this small tiny hope in me, this little spark that L's luck might actually change, that I'd go into this meeting next week and the principal would tell me and L that next year his teacher would be Mrs.G. Now that hope is dashed, and I'm sick, just sick, because I know his luck hasn't changed and that he'll go in and he'll tell me L is going to be in Mrs.M's class, mainly because they have no idea who the other two teachers will be, or that one of the other teachers will be Ms.R, the teacher he has now (2x) and it definitely can't be her.
I know, I'm borrowing trouble. But if I go in to the meeting all hopeful, I'm just going to be that much more upset when I come out, so I may as well assume the worst now.
Anyway,aside from school, L was recommended through this program called Kinark that he go to this summer camp. That would be for two weeks, day camp only, and there they would talk about feelings and stuff, and also do things like play (like he would do at home),go to the beach (like he would do at home),go in the backyard (like he would...) and go to the park (again,....) They also go to Santa's Village towards the end of the second week, which I think is too juvenile for him, personally. I mean, he had pretty much stopped believing in Santa last year. The bonus is, it's all free, even the food is included, and while I feel very grateful and blessed that this was offered to us, I have my reservations about it. I would like to send him for just the counseling part, but that wouldn't be fair to do that, as other kids are waiting for his spot for a full day of camp. The rest of it we could do without. It's basically the same as home daycare, which is what I do. Plus, they go out in a van, which I strangely don't feel comfortable with, having some stranger tote my kid around. And the biggest issue is getting him there and back. If I had a minivan, maybe I could, but I don't. I can't even tell right now how many kids I'll have on any given day during the summer to look after. And that sucks. DH can do pick up and drop off most days, but not all. So, he won't be going.
Ok, guess that's it for now, whew!
Endometriosis-
I went to see a specialist in the field of gynecology, apparently the best in the province. I was pleased to hear that I don't need surgery at this time, and that I should stick with the medication. Ok, 99% pleased. 1% disappointed. Is that weird? I think it's the whole "someone else taking care of ME for once" thing that I was looking forward to. Not the pain, or the surgery, or the loss of my woman-hood. I guess it's just nice to get looked after. Oh, and the fun drugs are a plus as well.
Anyhow, I'm sticking with a medication called Visanne, for now. I've been on it for three months now, and my body has now adjusted to it. At first, I had bleeding/spotting that went on for over two weeks. That was annoying. Then there was the constipation. Nice. But my body seems to have adjusted to it and moved on for now, and I haven't had any bleeding or period for at least six weeks. Nice! The constipation part seems to be over too, thank god, and I've had no pain now due to the endo so it's doing it's job. The dr said I could be on it for ten more years or so. When I hit menopause age, that's when I'll likely have to have surgery. Unless it gets worse between now and then. He was also nice enough to give me three more months' worth for free (samples). That's great because we have one income and no drug plan.
L-
L seems to be doing well lately. I attribute this to a few things. One, DH has been around a LOT more because he's in school, and this semester that's only three days a week. Two, it's summer, and who can feel down when the weather is so much nicer? (Ok, I know depression doesn't care what time of year it is, but I mean feeling low, as opposed to depressed). And three, school is almost over, with the prospect of eight weeks filled without homework or teachers. I have a meeting this coming week (Tues) with the principal to discuss L's placement next year. I mean, what class he'll be in. I feel a little sick about this and I'll tell you why: it's because I know I'm going to be disappointed and upset with the class he'll be in. And no, I don't know which one it is yet, but this is just the pattern with him. I don't know what it is, but aside from his first school year (in which he had the most AMAZING TEACHER EVER!), every year after he has got the royal shaft.
Screwed over.
Every year.
Every September I think "this year will be better, this year he can't possibly have bad luck again. This year, he'll get the teacher I want, or the next best one. His luck has GOT to CHANGE!"
But it doesn't. And now, I don't have any hope. Because even though in May, when DH and I sat down with the principal and his teacher and had a frank heart-to-heart about all our concerns and how they could help, even though the principal assured me that things would be ok for next Sept, even though he told me we'd talk about his teacher at the end of this school year, I STILL don't believe he'll get a good teacher for once. And I'll tell you why.
I know of two grade four teachers right now. There were only two gr. 4 classes this year. The one teacher, Mrs. G, is fantastic. R had her. I LOVE her! The other, Mrs. M, every other parent I've talked to hates her. She's useless.
Next sept, there has to be at least three gr.4 classes. There are four gr.3 classes now. So that means, another teacher. Who? I have no idea. I know some of the "floater" teachers in the school. Ones they call LTOs (long term occasional)and tend to teach a different grade every year. But one is moving down to K next year (the good one of course) and the other is one L has right now. For the second time in his school career. The worst thing is, is that I heard Mrs.G is not going to be teaching gr.4 next year, that she's moving down to primary. That really upset me. Because I had this small tiny hope in me, this little spark that L's luck might actually change, that I'd go into this meeting next week and the principal would tell me and L that next year his teacher would be Mrs.G. Now that hope is dashed, and I'm sick, just sick, because I know his luck hasn't changed and that he'll go in and he'll tell me L is going to be in Mrs.M's class, mainly because they have no idea who the other two teachers will be, or that one of the other teachers will be Ms.R, the teacher he has now (2x) and it definitely can't be her.
I know, I'm borrowing trouble. But if I go in to the meeting all hopeful, I'm just going to be that much more upset when I come out, so I may as well assume the worst now.
Anyway,aside from school, L was recommended through this program called Kinark that he go to this summer camp. That would be for two weeks, day camp only, and there they would talk about feelings and stuff, and also do things like play (like he would do at home),go to the beach (like he would do at home),go in the backyard (like he would...) and go to the park (again,....) They also go to Santa's Village towards the end of the second week, which I think is too juvenile for him, personally. I mean, he had pretty much stopped believing in Santa last year. The bonus is, it's all free, even the food is included, and while I feel very grateful and blessed that this was offered to us, I have my reservations about it. I would like to send him for just the counseling part, but that wouldn't be fair to do that, as other kids are waiting for his spot for a full day of camp. The rest of it we could do without. It's basically the same as home daycare, which is what I do. Plus, they go out in a van, which I strangely don't feel comfortable with, having some stranger tote my kid around. And the biggest issue is getting him there and back. If I had a minivan, maybe I could, but I don't. I can't even tell right now how many kids I'll have on any given day during the summer to look after. And that sucks. DH can do pick up and drop off most days, but not all. So, he won't be going.
Ok, guess that's it for now, whew!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
New Family Member
Yes, that's a puppy. And our newest family member. Isn't he cute? And yes, I believe I have lost my mind.
About three weeks ago, I decided to finally take the plunge and get our family a new puppy. We had a dog for 12 years, and he passed away about two years ago. I didn't miss the mess, or the poop, or being tied down to another creature. The freedom when he was gone was so easy to get used to. And caring for an elderly, sick dog is no fun. Especially when you have so many other bodies to look after. The care and love you put in is not reciprocated as much as it once was. It was hard to justify in my mind why I was doing it. I came to resent him for his illness, and his dependence. That wasn't fair to either of us.
So I was very hesitant to get another dog. I knew that I would be mainly responsible for the little guy, for cleaning up after him, for feeding him and making his various appointments. And there's always the financial side of it too.
But lately, I started to wonder if getting a dog would help L. He dearly misses Vader, our old pooch. He cries over him once in a while, and gets sad when we talk about him. And there was that part in my mind that has read so many stories of how dogs are great therapy for many different issues, including autism, depression, etc, etc. I wondered if having a puppy would bring some lightness into his life.
It was a hard decision to make. What if it didn't help? What if I resented this creature like I did our old dog? What if the boys reneged on their promises to ever help out with him? We can't send him back.
I decided that we would go visit the breeder of these puppies. I wanted this breed, a wheaten/schnauzer cross, and we knew someone through a friend of DH that bred them. I figured that if we went to see them, we could talk about it, and perhaps get a puppy when she had another litter. But once we arrived at the breeder's house, several things happened: we all fell in love with these cute, roly-poly teddy bears, and the woman told us this was the last litter she'd be breeding. This particular mix is hard to find. Especially in such close proximity to us! (Only a half hour drive!) So the decision was made. In retrospect, I'm glad we did it now. I had forgotten just how much I'd have to be outside with him, in all kinds of weather and times of day (and night). Being outside at 3 in the morning is much easier to take in the spring than in the dead of winter,or even the cold chill of fall.
He is now eleven weeks old. Training is.....slow. I never realized what a fantastic, amazing dog our Vader was! He was practically trained when we got him. And it didn't hurt that he went to my MIL's every day while we were at work. She had an older dog that helped I his training.
This puppy had accidents CONSTANTLY. And I am trying to stick to a schedule and trying to make sure that he goes outside with every change in routine. I'm making sure I "project a calm-assertive energy" with him (as the great Cesar Milan) would say, and not dwell on negative vibes when he has accidents.
But man......
It's so HARD!
He'll have these really great days (or maybe that's WE have), and then some days it's like ten accidents. The there's the whole peeing-on-the-deck thing. Sometimes he just goes out, and instead of going to the grass,he just goes on the deck. Which I don't really want, but I'm just so damn happy it's not on my carpet, and too damn busy getting dinner/looking after children/making lunches/whatever that I can't be bothered to go outside with him each. and. every. time.
But who can be upset with that face? It's just so darn cute!
Oh, and BTW, he's named Jasper. That was my pick. I figured I should get to name him since I'm the main cleaner-upper. And yes, it's from Twilight, because Jasper was one of my favorite characters, and the actor who played him was sexy as hell,and the character in the books is described as having blonde, curly hair,which is likely what this guy will have. Well, I know for sure he'll be blonde at least. The kids wanted to keep his breeder name, Gizmo, but I really don't love that movie, the kids haven't seen it, and my sister's cat is named that. He was almost Wicket, which really would have suited him since he does resemble an Ewok, and would have been in keeping with the Star Wars theme. But it's too cutesy for me, and I was still stuck on the Twilight theme, ha ha. (The kids definitely wouldn't go for Edward!)
That's how he likes to sleep in his bed. Weird dog.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Bored Of All The Sameness
Yes, this is a moping post. So, I don't blame you if you don't read it. Go on ahead to the asterisk.
I'm just tired. I'm done.
I've had enough with the same thing, day in, day out. I'm tired of having the same arguments with J (the three year old). "Keep you hands to yourself", "Stop being so bossy", "No running in the house" etc, etc, etc,. I'm tired of time-outs not working, of having to report the same thing to his mom. I'm tired of his sauciness and sass-back. (And to be honest, I'm tired of not being able to REALLY do what I want when he does that.) And I'm tired of nothing changing as a result of his mom's non-helpfulness.
I'm tired of having the same arguments with the older kids. "Stop wrestling", "Be nicer to the little kids", "No kicking (or insert any form of physical violence here)" etc, etc, etc,.
I'm tired of L not eating his lunch. I'm tired of trying to come up with ideas for something that he'll both eat, and that is healthy enough to sustain his energy for the day. I'm tired of his grumpy, grumpy moods when he doesn't eat (so, basically every day) and his crying fits and anger tantrums. I'm tired of trying to understand him, and trying to pacify him.
I'm tired of never having enough money. I'm tired of looking at credit card bills, LOC bills, and the unpaid property tax bills. I'm tired of feeling guilty every time we indulge in a movie, or take-out, or other "not necessary" things.
I'm tired of my husband being in school. There are some positives, like he's home more, but at the same time, that's a negative. I know, that doesn't make sense. I like that he's home more for the boys, but I tire of seeing him sitting around doing nothing while I'm working. I'm tired of hearing how he's "studying" with his classmates and they're out for wings, or beer, or pizza, or whatever, while I'm working. I'm tired of not having money BECAUSE he's in school. I fully realize that this is a means to an end, but the meantime is hard.
I'm tired of making lunches, dealing with morning chaos, working all day, trying to fit in household duties into my "breaktime", thinking of what to make and making said dinner, cleaning up the dinner, making sure the kids are ready for and transported to various activities, and making sure they have a bath/shower and are in bed at a reasonable time. Oh, and I'm tired of trying to do my taxes in and amongst all that stuff. And I'm tired of collapsing into bed and waking up early the next day to do it all over again.
I'm tired of the weekend flying by in a haze of nothing but errand-running, laundry-doing, and house-cleaning, and never feeling like we've accomplished anything. I'm tired of the house never really being clean, and seeing the dust thick on top of things, or dirt built up on stuff, and not having the time or will to do anything about it. Trying to keep up with regular cleaning like vacuuming and bathrooms is hard enough.
I'm tired of being too far away from my sisters and family. I'm tired of missing them, of having to plan just to visit them, as opposed to just popping by, and considering the price of gas whenever I do make the trek. I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting people to come to me, after all, it should be a 50/50 effort really.
I'm tired of our stupid Canadian spring weather. I really hate spring. I wish it could go from snowy to warm and deliciously sunny shorts weather in a few days. Well, it did do that, and then it reverted back to cold and miserable and windy. I'm tired of the spring dirt, all over my house, all over my front entry. Ugh.
*So there's my misery rant. On a positive note, we are off to Niagara Falls for the weekend. We haven't been to Niagara for about a year and a half. We haven't had any sort of vacation for a year now, as it's been a year since Disney. And yes, I know I whined and complained about not having money, but I am desperate, DESPERATE, for this! And I think my family is too. We all really need this getaway. Badly.
I'm just tired. I'm done.
I've had enough with the same thing, day in, day out. I'm tired of having the same arguments with J (the three year old). "Keep you hands to yourself", "Stop being so bossy", "No running in the house" etc, etc, etc,. I'm tired of time-outs not working, of having to report the same thing to his mom. I'm tired of his sauciness and sass-back. (And to be honest, I'm tired of not being able to REALLY do what I want when he does that.) And I'm tired of nothing changing as a result of his mom's non-helpfulness.
I'm tired of having the same arguments with the older kids. "Stop wrestling", "Be nicer to the little kids", "No kicking (or insert any form of physical violence here)" etc, etc, etc,.
I'm tired of L not eating his lunch. I'm tired of trying to come up with ideas for something that he'll both eat, and that is healthy enough to sustain his energy for the day. I'm tired of his grumpy, grumpy moods when he doesn't eat (so, basically every day) and his crying fits and anger tantrums. I'm tired of trying to understand him, and trying to pacify him.
I'm tired of never having enough money. I'm tired of looking at credit card bills, LOC bills, and the unpaid property tax bills. I'm tired of feeling guilty every time we indulge in a movie, or take-out, or other "not necessary" things.
I'm tired of my husband being in school. There are some positives, like he's home more, but at the same time, that's a negative. I know, that doesn't make sense. I like that he's home more for the boys, but I tire of seeing him sitting around doing nothing while I'm working. I'm tired of hearing how he's "studying" with his classmates and they're out for wings, or beer, or pizza, or whatever, while I'm working. I'm tired of not having money BECAUSE he's in school. I fully realize that this is a means to an end, but the meantime is hard.
I'm tired of making lunches, dealing with morning chaos, working all day, trying to fit in household duties into my "breaktime", thinking of what to make and making said dinner, cleaning up the dinner, making sure the kids are ready for and transported to various activities, and making sure they have a bath/shower and are in bed at a reasonable time. Oh, and I'm tired of trying to do my taxes in and amongst all that stuff. And I'm tired of collapsing into bed and waking up early the next day to do it all over again.
I'm tired of the weekend flying by in a haze of nothing but errand-running, laundry-doing, and house-cleaning, and never feeling like we've accomplished anything. I'm tired of the house never really being clean, and seeing the dust thick on top of things, or dirt built up on stuff, and not having the time or will to do anything about it. Trying to keep up with regular cleaning like vacuuming and bathrooms is hard enough.
I'm tired of being too far away from my sisters and family. I'm tired of missing them, of having to plan just to visit them, as opposed to just popping by, and considering the price of gas whenever I do make the trek. I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting people to come to me, after all, it should be a 50/50 effort really.
I'm tired of our stupid Canadian spring weather. I really hate spring. I wish it could go from snowy to warm and deliciously sunny shorts weather in a few days. Well, it did do that, and then it reverted back to cold and miserable and windy. I'm tired of the spring dirt, all over my house, all over my front entry. Ugh.
*So there's my misery rant. On a positive note, we are off to Niagara Falls for the weekend. We haven't been to Niagara for about a year and a half. We haven't had any sort of vacation for a year now, as it's been a year since Disney. And yes, I know I whined and complained about not having money, but I am desperate, DESPERATE, for this! And I think my family is too. We all really need this getaway. Badly.
Monday, April 2, 2012
A Bit of This, A Bit of That
I have some updates, and some recommendations here. First, I'll do the recommendations...
**CAUTION** If you don't like anything remotely smutty or have a huge aversion to erotica, then don't bother reading this. Recently, I purchased for my Kobo app and read the Fifty Shades Of Grey Trilogy, by E.L. James. I've actually read it before, back when it was under a different name and was classified as Twilight Fan Fiction. But it was such a good story, that I wanted to read it again, and it didn't disappoint. The books are centred around a love story between a very unlikely couple. She's a student, he's rich and powerful. She's loving and kind, he's damaged, but oh, so sweet and sexy. I don't want to give away too much of the story, but it's a great read, and I'll likely read it again soon! The author obviously had to make some changes, since it was originally a piece of fan fiction, but the characters and story are all hers. Be warned though, you can not read just the first book. Actually, I don't even think there is a true end to it. It just leaves you hanging. You could read just the first two books on their own, but then, they're good, so why wouldn't you want more?
Now, an update on L. We had an appointment with the pediatrician, (DH took him) and the pediatrician really didn't think there was much to worry about. *WHEW* He said a lot of it comes from school, and from being one of the youngest in the class. Plus, let's face it, school hasn't been too good to him. He's had a lot of incompetent teachers. So I spent some time blaming myself, even though I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it. It was more of a "Why didn't I listen to my instincts?" type of thing. I was lamenting the fact that I really should not have started him in school when I did. I should have waited until he was at least four. It all spiraled from there. Well, what's done is done. I can't change the past.
Now, we are waiting for an appointment with a counsellor. Even though the Dr. thought he was ok, he still referred us to a counselling service, so that's good. I've answered so many questions to these counsellors already, I'm starting to second-guess myself. Plus, he's been so much better lately. Not as moody, although there are of course, plenty of outbursts. I attribute most of his problem to DH. When he's around more, L is happier. Simple fact. But he can't be around more, that's all there is to it, it's life. He will have to graduate school and go back to working full time. So, I don't know if his moodiness will get worse again then. Plus, when DH goes back to work this time, it will coincide with the beginning of a new school year, another tough time for L. It won't be a good combo.
Lastly, an update on me. Back in the beginning of Feb, I had laproscopic surgery.Yesterday, I had my follow up appointment. Since I received my diagnosis of stage four endometriosis, I've been doing some reading, helped along by my good friend Lisa who sent me some info on the disease itself plus info on new medication that is available. I felt much more prepared going in to this appointment having some background information and questions prepared. Plus, DH came with me and had questions too. I can't imagine how I would have felt not knowing I even had this before my appointment. Again, I have to wonder, why wouldn't the doctor have come to see me after my surgery? Why did I have to make what was made to seem as an unorthodox phone call, to see what happened? Anyway, that was one question I forgot to ask. It doesn't change anything anyway.
Basically, I need a hysterectomy. There is no way around it. It's only a matter of when. Right now, I can keep going along as I am. I haven't had an "attack" for several months, so here's hoping it stays that way. The new medication is supposed to prevent any further growth of the endo. Eventually, if I never have the surgery, the endo could compromise my bowel. I don't want that.
So I have two choices. #1. I can wait for an indefinite amount of time to see a specialist in Hamilton. My OBGYN here recommended him, saying he's the best of the best around, and he specializes in removing endo and performing hysterectomies by laproscopic surgery. My OBGYN said himself that he wasn't good enough to perform the hysterectomy by laproscopy (not sure if that's the word or not). He is too worried about the attachment to my bowel, and that is a very touchy area. The slightest wrong move, and he could nick the bowel. Then I'd have a whole host of other problems! So the pros to this is that A) I don't have to have invasive surgery, therefore less dangerous B) the recovery would be faster. The cons are that A) it's in Hamilton (at least 2 hour drive from here) B) I don't know this doctor yet (what if he's an arrogant asshole?) C) I may have to wait a long time for an appointment and surgery D) the OBGYN said I don't need to stay in hospital, they send you home (WHAT?! Not what I would want at all, I'd like at least one night in hospital so I know everything is ok). That all being said, I'd say the pros still outweigh the cons.
My #2 choice is to stay here with my own OBGYN, have the surgery whenever, and it's a three or so day stay in hospital with a *GULP* 6 to 8 week recovery time. That's for most people to go back to work. I'm sure that people who work for themselves and/or have young children go back to work far sooner than that. The surgery is far more invasive, involving cutting me open, and manhandling of all my innards, including the bowel. My mom, who is an OR nurse, says that even if they don't cut the bowel, just handling it can cause it to shut down, or stick together inside or other really "fun" stuff. The only real pros I see to this scenario are A) it's faster (being resolved), B) I know the doctor and he's very kind and considerate, C) I would get to stay in my own hospital and have friends visit me, D) I wouldn't have a long, uncomfortable drive home after surgery, just a short one.
For now, I'm waiting to see how long I'll have to wait for an appt with Dr. Fantastic. I keep taking my new pill, and in three months I have an appt to go back to my own OBGYN and let him know how I'm progressing with that. Hopefully if I am doing well on this pill, he'll give me more for free.
**CAUTION** If you don't like anything remotely smutty or have a huge aversion to erotica, then don't bother reading this. Recently, I purchased for my Kobo app and read the Fifty Shades Of Grey Trilogy, by E.L. James. I've actually read it before, back when it was under a different name and was classified as Twilight Fan Fiction. But it was such a good story, that I wanted to read it again, and it didn't disappoint. The books are centred around a love story between a very unlikely couple. She's a student, he's rich and powerful. She's loving and kind, he's damaged, but oh, so sweet and sexy. I don't want to give away too much of the story, but it's a great read, and I'll likely read it again soon! The author obviously had to make some changes, since it was originally a piece of fan fiction, but the characters and story are all hers. Be warned though, you can not read just the first book. Actually, I don't even think there is a true end to it. It just leaves you hanging. You could read just the first two books on their own, but then, they're good, so why wouldn't you want more?
Now, an update on L. We had an appointment with the pediatrician, (DH took him) and the pediatrician really didn't think there was much to worry about. *WHEW* He said a lot of it comes from school, and from being one of the youngest in the class. Plus, let's face it, school hasn't been too good to him. He's had a lot of incompetent teachers. So I spent some time blaming myself, even though I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it. It was more of a "Why didn't I listen to my instincts?" type of thing. I was lamenting the fact that I really should not have started him in school when I did. I should have waited until he was at least four. It all spiraled from there. Well, what's done is done. I can't change the past.
Now, we are waiting for an appointment with a counsellor. Even though the Dr. thought he was ok, he still referred us to a counselling service, so that's good. I've answered so many questions to these counsellors already, I'm starting to second-guess myself. Plus, he's been so much better lately. Not as moody, although there are of course, plenty of outbursts. I attribute most of his problem to DH. When he's around more, L is happier. Simple fact. But he can't be around more, that's all there is to it, it's life. He will have to graduate school and go back to working full time. So, I don't know if his moodiness will get worse again then. Plus, when DH goes back to work this time, it will coincide with the beginning of a new school year, another tough time for L. It won't be a good combo.
Lastly, an update on me. Back in the beginning of Feb, I had laproscopic surgery.Yesterday, I had my follow up appointment. Since I received my diagnosis of stage four endometriosis, I've been doing some reading, helped along by my good friend Lisa who sent me some info on the disease itself plus info on new medication that is available. I felt much more prepared going in to this appointment having some background information and questions prepared. Plus, DH came with me and had questions too. I can't imagine how I would have felt not knowing I even had this before my appointment. Again, I have to wonder, why wouldn't the doctor have come to see me after my surgery? Why did I have to make what was made to seem as an unorthodox phone call, to see what happened? Anyway, that was one question I forgot to ask. It doesn't change anything anyway.
Basically, I need a hysterectomy. There is no way around it. It's only a matter of when. Right now, I can keep going along as I am. I haven't had an "attack" for several months, so here's hoping it stays that way. The new medication is supposed to prevent any further growth of the endo. Eventually, if I never have the surgery, the endo could compromise my bowel. I don't want that.
So I have two choices. #1. I can wait for an indefinite amount of time to see a specialist in Hamilton. My OBGYN here recommended him, saying he's the best of the best around, and he specializes in removing endo and performing hysterectomies by laproscopic surgery. My OBGYN said himself that he wasn't good enough to perform the hysterectomy by laproscopy (not sure if that's the word or not). He is too worried about the attachment to my bowel, and that is a very touchy area. The slightest wrong move, and he could nick the bowel. Then I'd have a whole host of other problems! So the pros to this is that A) I don't have to have invasive surgery, therefore less dangerous B) the recovery would be faster. The cons are that A) it's in Hamilton (at least 2 hour drive from here) B) I don't know this doctor yet (what if he's an arrogant asshole?) C) I may have to wait a long time for an appointment and surgery D) the OBGYN said I don't need to stay in hospital, they send you home (WHAT?! Not what I would want at all, I'd like at least one night in hospital so I know everything is ok). That all being said, I'd say the pros still outweigh the cons.
My #2 choice is to stay here with my own OBGYN, have the surgery whenever, and it's a three or so day stay in hospital with a *GULP* 6 to 8 week recovery time. That's for most people to go back to work. I'm sure that people who work for themselves and/or have young children go back to work far sooner than that. The surgery is far more invasive, involving cutting me open, and manhandling of all my innards, including the bowel. My mom, who is an OR nurse, says that even if they don't cut the bowel, just handling it can cause it to shut down, or stick together inside or other really "fun" stuff. The only real pros I see to this scenario are A) it's faster (being resolved), B) I know the doctor and he's very kind and considerate, C) I would get to stay in my own hospital and have friends visit me, D) I wouldn't have a long, uncomfortable drive home after surgery, just a short one.
For now, I'm waiting to see how long I'll have to wait for an appt with Dr. Fantastic. I keep taking my new pill, and in three months I have an appt to go back to my own OBGYN and let him know how I'm progressing with that. Hopefully if I am doing well on this pill, he'll give me more for free.
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